Genergy

The Transformative Power Of Change

Just how much change should we change? Change is unavoidable, but what if we keep the true transformational power of the change, while simply changing the way change is delivered? This last week I have been struck by how much change we are often confronted with in our lives and how transformative change can be if we allow it to be so. 

For the last 4 months I have been working with a big company which is going through an enormous amount of change. The great news is that this company is doing exceptionally well and whereas many in its sector are contracting, this company is expanding, bringing on new partners and acquiring new businesses. I have been working intensively with this business for over a year now and what has been constant in this time is the fact that it has been continually evolving and growing and that its managers and leaders are working at the forefront of this change with all the challenges and opportunities that this entails.

Working with this business in its process of change has also coincided with my partner Jonathan and I also going through a big cycle of change. We recently got married and are also expecting our first child. All of this is incredibly exciting, and, has caused me to question the process of change and how we can powerfully use the energy of it in our lives.

Most people who have worked in business or people development will be very familiar with a standard ‘change curve’. Standard wisdom has it that when change is afoot, people will go through a change process which is to be expected. This will be through the stages of shock, denial, frustration and then hopefully onto acceptance and integration. This supposedly applies both at an individual and at a company wide level when companies are going through a culture change. All of this makes logical sense and potentially resonates at some level with our own experience of change. However, today I am posing a question. Does it really have to be so? What if we could approach change in a different way and shortcut some of the pain in the middle of the process?

Coming back to the business I am working with, I have seen people with all sorts of different reactions to change. In the programme we are running, we are essentially teaching managers how to lead, coach and release potential in their people. As part of the programme, the managers coach each other. For some of the individuals involved, this has been a truly transformative experience. This week, one individual was being coached around how she delivers in the business. She has come from outside the business, is clearly very dynamic and used to a faster pace than she is now experiencing. As she was being coached, you could see the frustration starting to bubble over and, as the coaching supposedly concluded, she suddenly burst into tears.  The emotion totally took her by surprise and she looked shocked and a little embarrassed that she could have such a strong reaction. Myself and the coach just held the space for her to cry and allow the emotion out. And, at the end and connecting to the highest energy of the situation, I asked her, ‘What is the real potential for you and your team here?’. As I said those words, she started to laugh as she realised that it was her own overly high standards and judgement that were getting in the way of her success and that this business held the potential for her to use her leadership in a very different way. At the end of the programme she wrote a personal addition to the feedback forms which thanked myself and my fellow coach for creating such a transformative experience for her. And, as the tears welled up when she said goodbye, we could sense that these were tears of relief, gratitude and excitement. Quite different from the tears of earlier.

And so, as I connect to this one amazing individual and many others that I have had the pleasure to work with on this programme, it strikes me that change can be much easier than we think if we get out of our own way. For me, there are many different levels that we can connect with any experience. We can connect to the pain, frustration and out of control feelings that the change generates, or we can connect to the transformative potential of it. For this individual, the pain just disappeared once she realised the potential in the situation. So, can we shortcut the frustration or maybe avoid it altogether if we trust that for whatever reason whatever is happening is perfect and connected to a higher purpose? We can fight against the change and try to maintain our current position of safely in the face of it, or, we can go with the flow of it and see what emerges. I know for myself, that when I am in a position of flow and trust, I allow whatever magic that wants to happen to emerge. And, I know that it is also not always easy to do!

So, perhaps in the future, change will look different and so much easier and more fun!

Step 1 – Connect to the energy of the change and the vision for you and the business behind it

Step 2 – Be in the flow of the change and sense the greater potential of it

Step 3 – Enjoy the ride! 

Simplistic? Maybe – but, in my experience, the best things are sometimes the most obvious and staring us right in the face if we take the time to look. We’d love to know your experiences of change. Let us know on the Genergy forum.

Happy Mondays!

Lisa Cattell (!)

 

Inyouition

Whoa. Weird. Eek. Nutter. Blimey. Do you ever get moments when you sense something very strange? When you just get a feeling that something is about to happen? Something odd. But then you tell yourself off for being bonkers – you shut it down? On Sunday, it happened. It was powerfully beautiful in the strangest way. It involved a 9 year old angel. His name was Gabriel.

Defining intuition isn’t easy – so let’s not try. Some say it’s our subconscious noticing things that our conscious doesn’t register. Some say it’s us sensing in a way that we haven’t since we were babies. Whatever it is, the energy of it is exceptional.

Sunday started fairly unexceptionally to be honest. It was a lovely day and so we thought we’d enjoy relaxing. So we put our beautiful golden Labrador puppy on her lead and out what we went. Our village is in many ways like old England. People look each other in the eye as they say hello on the street. Smiles are usually everywhere. And there’s an unspoken, lovely energy of community you don’t find everywhere. And one of the places we love to go to is a certain café. It sits on a corner, it watches the world go by. The people working inside are always so friendly, real and fun. Watching the world go by. I love coffee, and this café has the best coffee around. And sometimes, an older Swiss-German lady there has fun with me in Swiss-German while we sit. Watching the world go by.

And as my wife and I walked happily and slowly toward this café, something odd suddenly hit me. It was bizarre. My stomach tightened, my mouth went dry and I just got a flash – a surge of awareness - of someone’s purest love for someone or something in their life. It wasn’t someone I knew. And then it was gone. And as I blinked myself back to reality, I had a quiet word with myself and a silent chuckle. Jonathan, you are one strange unit sometimes.

The sun was out, so too was the entire village. And as we neared our favourite café, all of the tables were taken. Not a seat spare. We’d have to wait. And as we got closer, our dog’s lead pulled. She’d spotted another beautiful Labrador sat, tied up next to the café. And as the two dogs had a chat, a cuddle and a nose-rub, a table on the terrace became free. But as I pulled our Labrador away from her gossiping, a man emerged from inside and sat down at the table. He looked at me, smiled and asked if I minded him having the table? He just wanted his young family to be nearer their Labrador. It was a warm day, and the children wanted to look after their dog. Of course I didn’t mind. Children and a dog to look after? Glad to help. We could wait a little longer. But then the man suddenly rose and disappeared inside. A moment later, he was outside again, smiling, saying goodbye, untying his dog, then he was gone.

And as my wife, our puppy and I sat at the table, it didn’t really add up. But never mind. And as we looked at the menu, I didn’t notice it at first. By my side. Out of the blue. Something pure and natural.

A little boy was stood by my side looking at me. He had black, curly hair and freckles. He wore a blue, short-sleeved shirt and jeans, and the kind of calculator-watch you’d have died for as a little boy.

“What’s your puppy’s name?” came the gentle voice. “Rosie”, I smiled. “She is so beautiful. How old is she? Can I stroke her please?”. “She’s 9 months old. Of course you can stroke her, she loves it when friendly people stroke her!” And my wife and I watched as he bent down and gave her some much appreciated loving. Rosie is such a flirt.

“You just spoke to my daddy. He wanted us to come outside, but when we saw you standing there, my mum and I asked daddy to let you have the table instead. We wanted you to be happy and enjoy your day.” Daddy’s taken our dog home now so she can have some water.”

I asked this lovely little boy his name, and how old he was.

“My name’s Gabriel. I’m 9 and a half. I like being 9 and a half.”. And as the boy spoke, he radiated sincerity, happiness and the serenest energy. So many children are either ‘free’ and expressive or ‘adapted’, so polite and aware of how to speak to people. But as my wife and I listened, this boy was both. He was confident, happy, calm, open, polite and honest. Mature in the youngest way.

“When I looked at you, I could see that you love your dog as much as I love mine. My dog’s name is Jess. I love her so much. Every day, we go for a walk with her and play with her. Sometimes, I’m allowed to give her treats. It’s not nice when we have to clear up after her, but she’s only doing the same things we do, so it’s important to help her. She doesn’t have hands to clear up after herself, so she needs help. I love her so much. She’s one of my best friends.”

And as he slowly spoke, he smiled and looked me right in the eyes. He wasn’t looking at me, he was looking into me. It was the most honest powerful energy I’ve ever witnessed in a child. And Lisa and I were stunned. But his smile then disappeared.

“But she’s 11, so she’s going to die soon. In about 3 years. She’s getting old now. And she doesn’t run about as much as she used to. But she loves me so much and I love her so much.”

And he continued.

“What do you think you’ll do when Rosie dies? Will you still be happy?”

“Gabriel, do you know what makes your Jess such a happy dog? Each time you cuddle her, each time you have fun with her, she’s happy. And do you know what I do with Rosie? Each day, I tell her I love her and play with her. Every day. And I will do this every day for the rest of Rosie’s life. And many years from now, once she gets old and dies, each time I think of her, I will know that we couldn’t have loved her more, and she loved us every day. Imagine having that happiness in your heart for the rest of your life. And if you and I ever miss our dogs in the future, all we’ll have to do is remember how much we loved it when they wiggle their tails when they’re happy.”

And his smile returned. He was silent for a few moments. Then he spoke.

“That’s it, isn’t it? Life is all about wiggly tails.” And he looked up at the sky. “I’ve got to go now Jonathan.” And as he stroked our Rosie goodbye, he smiled and stood up. “Jonathan, thank you for talking to me.”. And then the angel was gone.

No Gabriel. Thank you for talking to me. I will never forget this.

Intuition is here, in you, in me, in those around us, and it’s very real. But just how incredibly potent is the energy of the intuition in you? Its power is immense. How much in life do we sense but sub-consciously persuade ourselves to ignore? How much of what we experience do we knowingly acknowledge? And what are the frequencies of those around us? Is there something more than purely the everyday things we actively articulate? Are language, reasoning and words simply the symptoms of what we try and communicate rather than the entirety of it? And just how powerful can we be when we sense the energy of people, help people sense the energy of others, then help it flow so that their life and everything they do glides effortlessly? We’re not here for long. So in those moments from time to time that you sense something, go on, go and make the world’s tail wiggle. The world will love you for it.  

Jonathan

Speechless

What does it mean when we have something really important to say but in the very moment we need them, the words completely disappear? On Saturday 9 April, it happened. It was my wedding. It was my speech. It was all so well planned. The words, the funny bits, the memories, the expressions of love and thanks. They were all there. But when I stood up, they were gone. The reason? There was something more important to say. I didn’t know what it was. So I simply spoke, and trusted that what I had to say was there. It was. The experience knocked me sideways.

Our wedding day was blissful. I hadn’t been nervous in the run up to the church service. I was excited. More excited than I’ve ever been. The service was delightful , the sun shone, it was the warmest day of the year and the day was about our love and commitment to each other. As we then arrived at the reception, there was love around us everywhere. Everything ran as per plan, even better than we’d dared dream and it was the best day of our lives. And as we sat to eat, the energy of our wedding flowed all around everyone there. There was just one more thing to think about – my speech.

Speeches are powerful things. They’re important, and we all have different reactions when we have an important one to do. Sometimes we get nervous, sometimes we get stage-fright, and so often, we worry. On occasion, we can even be sick with fear. Will the content be right? Is my voice good enough? Is what I say interesting? Have I prepared it properly? Will I miss anything out? Will something go wrong?

I was introduced to public speaking during officer training with the military. They taught us the do’s and the don’ts, the way to plan and prepare and they taught us how to hold rooms. So for my speech, I planned it for months. So many things I wanted to say, so many people I wanted to thank. So much eternal, true love for my wife sitting by my side. My groom’s speech, I decided, was going to be about ‘moments’. And I was really looking forward to it. It was just what I wanted to say.

Since meeting Lisa, I have become passionate about each moment in life. Before we met, I was a thinker and a planner. I loved it. Sort of. I was about looking forward to all the things in life that I could plan for, get ready for, prepare for, achieve and enjoy in the future. I was driven and I knew what I wanted my future to look like. But since Lisa and I met, I’ve fallen in love with moments. All of them. The moments each day that transform our lives. The little things, the conversations, the love in each blink, each conversation, each time we’re in someone’s company and we’re getting to know them better. The fun, the connections, the walks and the cups of tea. And the love of the moment is what Lisa has brought to my life. Each moment with her and of my life is an experience I’ll never have again. So at the same time as I fell in love with Lisa, I fell in love with life. Moments.

And as the speeches began, I listened and laughed. Lisa’s father’s speech was fantastic. So too was the speech of our bridesmaid. But I could feel something. Something powerful. Then the best-man’s speech came and it was one of the most powerful things I’ve ever experienced. And together, all these speeches produced a clarity I’ve never felt before. And as I stood to give my speech, it became clear that this incredibly powerful thing going on inside was my calling. As I looked at the smiling faces in front of me, I realised the beautiful truth that this clarity was showing me. It was time not to just speak of moments with Lisa, but to be the love of the moments that she has brought to my life. So I put down my speech-papers, then I started to speak.

As I spoke, truth flowed. I didn’t know what I was going to say or how I was going to say it, so I let go. I let go and flowed with the energy of the moment. I didn’t recognise the words until I was hearing them.  My words of appreciation and love came from that place inside that is loving human instinct. The words were pure. They were real. They were the truth. They were beyond love and appreciation, they were life. They were deep. They were my most honest response to the moment. And as I looked at Lisa and tried not to cry, my love flowed. Not just my love for Lisa, but my love for all the lovely people sharing the day with us, the moments that each and every one of them had brought to our wedding day. And I felt their love coming back. Lisa has brought love to the moments of so many lives. She is love itself. And as I reached the end, I could feel that the love I have for her is one shared by all who know her. The moment was my opportunity to speak for us all.

And as the words ended and we toasted my beautiful wife, it was time to be silent. And kiss her. And adore her for the rest of my life.

Speeches aren’t about words, they just contain words. Words are the symptoms  - indicators - of what we’re truly trying to say deep down. Choosing the right words isn’t easy, so it’s best not to grip words too tightly. What’s more important is what we’re trying to say. And in each moment, the words we need flow, change and glide as if having a true power of their very own. Speeches are our opportunity to express something that can only come from us. And when we stand up to speak, the moment is there. It’s a beautiful moment. It’s stunning. It’s unique. And when we embrace it and stop thinking, we speak the truth of the moment. And if you’re lucky enough to meet the person that leads you to love life’s moments in this way, this love leaves you speechless.

Jonathan