What does it mean when we have something really important to say but in the very moment we need them, the words completely disappear? On Saturday 9 April, it happened. It was my wedding. It was my speech. It was all so well planned. The words, the funny bits, the memories, the expressions of love and thanks. They were all there. But when I stood up, they were gone. The reason? There was something more important to say. I didn’t know what it was. So I simply spoke, and trusted that what I had to say was there. It was. The experience knocked me sideways.
Our wedding day was blissful. I hadn’t been nervous in the run up to the church service. I was excited. More excited than I’ve ever been. The service was delightful , the sun shone, it was the warmest day of the year and the day was about our love and commitment to each other. As we then arrived at the reception, there was love around us everywhere. Everything ran as per plan, even better than we’d dared dream and it was the best day of our lives. And as we sat to eat, the energy of our wedding flowed all around everyone there. There was just one more thing to think about – my speech.
Speeches are powerful things. They’re important, and we all have different reactions when we have an important one to do. Sometimes we get nervous, sometimes we get stage-fright, and so often, we worry. On occasion, we can even be sick with fear. Will the content be right? Is my voice good enough? Is what I say interesting? Have I prepared it properly? Will I miss anything out? Will something go wrong?
I was introduced to public speaking during officer training with the military. They taught us the do’s and the don’ts, the way to plan and prepare and they taught us how to hold rooms. So for my speech, I planned it for months. So many things I wanted to say, so many people I wanted to thank. So much eternal, true love for my wife sitting by my side. My groom’s speech, I decided, was going to be about ‘moments’. And I was really looking forward to it. It was just what I wanted to say.
Since meeting Lisa, I have become passionate about each moment in life. Before we met, I was a thinker and a planner. I loved it. Sort of. I was about looking forward to all the things in life that I could plan for, get ready for, prepare for, achieve and enjoy in the future. I was driven and I knew what I wanted my future to look like. But since Lisa and I met, I’ve fallen in love with moments. All of them. The moments each day that transform our lives. The little things, the conversations, the love in each blink, each conversation, each time we’re in someone’s company and we’re getting to know them better. The fun, the connections, the walks and the cups of tea. And the love of the moment is what Lisa has brought to my life. Each moment with her and of my life is an experience I’ll never have again. So at the same time as I fell in love with Lisa, I fell in love with life. Moments.
And as the speeches began, I listened and laughed. Lisa’s father’s speech was fantastic. So too was the speech of our bridesmaid. But I could feel something. Something powerful. Then the best-man’s speech came and it was one of the most powerful things I’ve ever experienced. And together, all these speeches produced a clarity I’ve never felt before. And as I stood to give my speech, it became clear that this incredibly powerful thing going on inside was my calling. As I looked at the smiling faces in front of me, I realised the beautiful truth that this clarity was showing me. It was time not to just speak of moments with Lisa, but to be the love of the moments that she has brought to my life. So I put down my speech-papers, then I started to speak.
As I spoke, truth flowed. I didn’t know what I was going to say or how I was going to say it, so I let go. I let go and flowed with the energy of the moment. I didn’t recognise the words until I was hearing them. My words of appreciation and love came from that place inside that is loving human instinct. The words were pure. They were real. They were the truth. They were beyond love and appreciation, they were life. They were deep. They were my most honest response to the moment. And as I looked at Lisa and tried not to cry, my love flowed. Not just my love for Lisa, but my love for all the lovely people sharing the day with us, the moments that each and every one of them had brought to our wedding day. And I felt their love coming back. Lisa has brought love to the moments of so many lives. She is love itself. And as I reached the end, I could feel that the love I have for her is one shared by all who know her. The moment was my opportunity to speak for us all.
And as the words ended and we toasted my beautiful wife, it was time to be silent. And kiss her. And adore her for the rest of my life.
Speeches aren’t about words, they just contain words. Words are the symptoms - indicators - of what we’re truly trying to say deep down. Choosing the right words isn’t easy, so it’s best not to grip words too tightly. What’s more important is what we’re trying to say. And in each moment, the words we need flow, change and glide as if having a true power of their very own. Speeches are our opportunity to express something that can only come from us. And when we stand up to speak, the moment is there. It’s a beautiful moment. It’s stunning. It’s unique. And when we embrace it and stop thinking, we speak the truth of the moment. And if you’re lucky enough to meet the person that leads you to love life’s moments in this way, this love leaves you speechless.
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