Ever wondered what happens to people when they dump the ‘professional’ façade? Ever wondered what would happen to you?
In the last week or so, I have had the pleasure to begin coaching a couple of new clients in senior leadership roles. I love starting to work with someone new. Being excited about what the opportunity might hold for them, curious about how the relationship will evolve and open to whatever might need to happen for them. It is such a lovely feeling when you see someone start to make big realisations and to see that there are whole sides to them that they have kept hidden, not explored or not even really been aware of. And working with people in the way we do, it has become so crystal clear to me… being ‘professional’ has a lot to answer for!
As a coach and working energetically with people, you never really know what is going to happen when you coach someone or where the real learning and shifts will come from. It always intrigues me (and slightly amuses me it must be said) that we go through a process of meeting up with the manager of the person to be coached, agreeing objectives and trying to make sure that everyone in the business is clear about what the coaching shall achieve. Of course, this is an important part of the process – it unlocks some good honesty in people and it creates a sense of direction. However, when the coaching actually starts, what is written down on the piece of paper is so rarely the true underlying issue or purest potential. It is only when you get to that deeper level of potential with people that things really start to change. And, thankfully, when you work with people at this level, all of the originally-stated objectives are achieved anyway!
The other thing I notice is how often common themes emerge in the people I‘m coaching. I don’t look for this or consciously attract it to me but I notice that the people who want to work with me often have common themes, and these themes also often relate to areas that I happen to be passionate about. Perhaps this is part of the Law of Attraction at work. I attract people to me who, at some level, feel my passion for the individual, individual expression and working at a deeper level of awareness and consciousness.
So, the common theme I was noticing last week was about the ways in which people choose to be ‘professional’ - and the impact that this has on people and their leadership style. We may assume that it is natural to want to be seen as professional, after all most people want to be taken seriously at work don’t they? We want our colleagues to listen to us and respect us, to take on board what we say and for us to present a sense of ‘gravitas’. It all makes sense on a logical level. However, the impact of all this is actually quite different.
What being ‘professional’ often actually translates to is conforming, being logical and sensible, taking very few risks and presenting ourselves in a way that we judge (assume) is acceptable to others. It also often means that we present quite a one-sided version of ourselves. There are so many times when I start to coach people and I see all these wonderful, amazing sides of them that I just know that their colleagues don’t see! What a shame that in the place and doing the activity where we spend most of our time, people often don’t get to see what is uniquely remarkable about who we are.
The irony is that often when people are being ‘professional’, their intention is to project a sense of leadership and gravitas. To get others to follow them. Logically, it all makes sense. However, the actual impact is actually often too logical and flat. What it misses is inspiration, true leadership and the power and energy that true leaders have. To lead in this way can feel like it has some vulnerability and risk in allowing other people to really see who you are. And yet, when you do it, you realise that it is more powerful than you could have imagined and you feel a lot less vulnerable than when you are presenting a façade and keeping parts of you hidden.
I learnt this lesson in one of my last full time corporate jobs years ago. I worked for a company where the majority of people seemed very different from me. I was much more emotional, strategic and intuitive by nature whereas the culture was very logical, practical and short term. And, so what did I do? I tried to fit in. But it was tough and I felt at some level that I wasn’t being me, wasn’t as good as people thought I was and would get ‘found out’ at some point. The turning point came when I made the decision that I would leave and set up my own business. I was still at the business for about a year after the decision was made but, because I knew my long term future wasn’t there, I took the shackles off. I suddenly felt able to be me – even down to the way I dressed and how I behaved. And, guess what? They loved it! I was probably even more successful and happier in that last year than at any other time at that company, and what I realised was that I could have done that at any time. I’d always just told myself I couldn’t and that it wouldn’t be ok.
So, my challenge to anyone reading this this week? Show yourself and your colleagues who you really are! Drop any professional façade and trust in yourself and others that when you are truly you, you can’t help but be more powerful and a better leader. And, you’ll have a lot more fun along the way too! Thank you to my wonderful clients too for demonstrating to me how amazing we all are at our core and allowing me to witness what they are capable of. I feel truly honoured and blessed to do this very special work.
Go on... enjoy showing yourself this week. :-)
Lisa. X
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