Genergy

Unspoken

How much do you sense that can’t be expressed in words? What are those things you pick up on, without realising, that are the real truth of the situations you witness? Last week, I had to find words to describe the unspoken. It was an interesting environment. The context was spies and spying.

Many years ago, I wrote a thesis about elements of the history of secret intelligence. Studying this was a fascinating experience. For decades, many had speculated about the relationships of MI6 and Austria from World War 2 to the early Cold War. So a number of years ago, I stepped away from my career to find out the truths sitting underneath all the speculation. As part of my investigative research, I examined evidence in various languages and interviewed Austria’s academic experts as well as the head of Austria’s military intelligence service.

Thing is, I’m not a spy and I never have been. But my career since completing this has taken some smile-inducingly interesting turns. And two weeks ago, I was contacted by a clever man to ask me to go and deliver a talk at his university. He asked me to talk about the transferability of the skills that studying intelligence and security unlocks, and to discuss what difference these skills can make in the academic and professional world once these studies are complete.

I thought it would be a lovely opportunity. Something relaxed and informal. But 2 days before the conference was to take place, I received the programme for the day. There were to be 2 further speakers. And I started to sense something. It felt like there was something to this day that wasn’t being spoken. I didn’t know what it was, but I could feel it. It was something I’d frequently felt many years ago while researching secret intelligence history. So I trusted my intuition and decided to welcome whatever it was that was coming.

On arrival, you quickly sensed the real decency of the postgraduate students at this university. They were genuinely interested in intelligence and security, and those involved were from a wide range of countries. English wasn’t the first language of many, yet there was a powerful energy of desire and commitment all around the room. The event was to be videoed, and when my fellow speakers took their seats either side of me, it was clear why. The gentleman to my left had been involved in the efforts of a European Government to prevent Muslim radicalisation and stop terrorist recruitment. The other speaker to my right communicated in a way that told you he held a universe of knowledge about something very specific. From both men, you knew something was coming. And as we were introduced to each other, it was clear that my intuition had indeed been clear.

This day was important. And having sensed this in the days before, I’d decided to do something I haven’t ever done before.

One man asked for the video to be turned off while he spoke. The other described himself as a speaker “about things”.  In fact, we were told, this man advises governments. He also advises secret services on how to handle new things. Both men were truly worth listening to. And as one of them spoke his experiences handling problems in society, you listened. And as the other spoke of what he expects to happen in Syria then across Africa and the Middle East given the increasing Islamist leadership, you listened. Not just to the words, not just to the impact, but to the unspoken in their voices. I was fascinated by the unspoken of both men. There was a rare power to this day.

And as I stood up to speak, I connected with the students. I connected with the energies of their challenges.

Young people everywhere are facing serious challenges in their hunt for work, never mind a rewarding career. And for those paying good money to study and educate themselves, the need for employment at the end is clear.

So as I spoke, I addressed the challenges they’re already confronting as part of their studies. Studying secrets is not easy. It’s an ocean of unknowns often involving different languages,  in which you have to make progress despite the real truths of what you’re studying being concealed. You have to interrogate, analyse and challenge every thought, every assumption, every element of every perspective. You start with the information you’re able to find – assuming you’re able to find anything at all - and you then begin to understand the wealth of contexts of all the different phenomena involved. At all times, you need to hold the context of what is known and what is unknown. You then have to present the conclusion of your findings whereby every word counts. Every word. And yet you have to present your thesis/dissertation as succinctly as possible.

And as I gave the students examples of how this had made a powerful difference to my professional career, I then did something I’ve never done before. The skills the students were developing were indispensable. But the skills alone weren’t the truly powerful key. To show them the key, I decided to openly be the full truth of what i've learned.

I told them that all these skills mean that their brains will in the future function on a truly different level, without them even needing to try. But the key is in letting go of the thinking. I told them they will before long have a deepened, exceptionally accurate sense of intuition. I concluded with a smile by telling them that their sense of intuition will help them sense the unspoken in people and situations that even the cleverest will never find the words to describe. I told them to enjoy and trust what they sense for the rest of their lives.

At the end of the day, one student after another came to me and shared. They shared their unique beauties. As one of them put it, they felt ‘seen’. Many really started to open up with me, this man they’d never met before. And they were sharing their personal truth. Whether working for Governments, doing PhDs or becoming managers in the world of business, these people are going to do special things. And witnessing them even just for one day was one of the most stunning privileges of my professional career.

The energy of truth inside each of us is stunning. As tempting as it can be, let’s not waste too much time trying to put words to it. When people feel seen and truly sensed, they create change with ease. And when we don’t focus on the spoken words, but instead trust our intuition about the energy of the unspoken of the people and situations around us, life flows.

So this week, try something. With at least one situation or person, switch off the brain, and just sense the unspokens. They’ll leave you speechless.

:-) Jonathan

Wants and needs

How do 'wants' and 'needs' influence our lives? Human beings lead lives of fascinating invention and beauty, and our lives are a reservoir of the most beautiful moments. Sometimes, we make ourselves a bit too busy to enjoy these moments. But sometimes, moments that come out of the blue have a power that doesn’t stop resonating for the rest of our lives. Throughout each day, many of us are constantly busy deciding what we want to happen next; we identify our ‘wants’ and ‘needs’ from one moment to the next without even realising we’re doing it. Wants and needs are natural enough, but telling them apart can be tricky. So what’s the difference between a want and a need? Last Thursday morning, it took 37 minutes to find out. The answer is heaven. 

Wants and needs are easily confused. And it’s true that ‘want’ and ‘need’ are expressed differently in different languages. There are many philosophies about how ‘needs’ can be unhealthy and how ‘wants’ are selfish. But living life to its full is so much more important than finding the right words to describe life, so let’s do the philosophy another time.

My wife and I found out in February that we were expecting our first baby. When we found out, we were actually still engaged and looking forward to our April wedding. We got married and as the months passed, my wife has become bigger and ever more beautiful. Our little one was due on 21^st October. And we were told “with 80% probability” that our baby would be a girl.

My wife is unique. One of the things I enjoyed about her when we met was that unlike many, she quickly gets passionate about what she can do for others in the world rather than what others in the world should be doing for her. It’s beautiful. And as the years have passed, it’s become even stronger.  She doesn’t ‘want’ or ‘need’ from others very often. But she did dream of being a mother. I knew she’d be an incredible mother. She didn’t ‘want’ or ‘need’ to be a mum. It was something stronger.

21^st October came and went. No baby. Our home was made spotless for the 4^th time. No baby. 25^th October came. No baby. Lots of spicy curries, baths, raspberry tea, long walks etc. Just no baby.  Baby was fine.  Healthy, happy, right position, calm. Just not ready to come out yet. October reached its end. No baby. So last Wednesday, 2 November, I took my wife to our local hospital for our baby to be induced.

The people there were lovely and we expected to stay for a few days before our little one would be ready.  I helped my wife into the bath, got her some tea, and she relaxed. And as the afternoon then evening passed, it all seemed so gentile. My partner didn’t want chemical painkillers, and we just took our time and relaxed. We’d hoped for a homebirth but were ultimately advised against it, so we took our time and just wanted the smoothest, slowest, most trauma-free possible transition to parenthood. The birthing-pool had been requested and we smiled. No chemicals, no pollutants, just a healthy little one.

But…. no baby. Lots of monitoring and ensuring all was OK. Just no baby. The clock ticked, people came and went, blinks came and went.

Suddenly, everything changed. My wife went from almost asleep to screaming in less than 10 seconds.

Everything was suddenly about need and want.

I wanted her pain to leave.

She needed my support.

I wanted her contraction to end so she could breathe ok.

She didn’t know what she needed. The contractions didn’t stop. She needed air.

I wanted to understand what she needed.

She needed to understand why these sudden contractions weren’t ending.

The screams suddenly became constant and the nurses needed to evacuate the whole maternity ward.

The mothers and mothers-to-be wanted to get out quickly.

My wife needed some comfort but didn’t want chemicals.

I needed some answers.

She needed me.

The midwives wanted my wife to lie down. She couldn’t.

They needed her to stand still. She wouldn’t.

They wanted whatever would be easiest for her. She tried. She couldn’t.

She needed the midwives.

They suddenly looked very different. 1 had turned into 3 then 5. And they needed things to happen fast.

My wife needed peace-of-mind and I wanted her to have it.

It was wanting.

We were suddenly in a different room.

My wife wanted to know what was happening.

The midwives wanted to understand too. Their faces were shouting that something was very wrong. They needed others.

Something didn’t make sense for them and they needed a doctor quickly.

My wife needed leadership.

I needed to distract her, make her look me in the eye and breathe deeply.

She needed me. But she wanted me to shut up. As long as I kept talking to her.

The gas and air needed strengthening. I wanted the doctors now stood next to the midwives to stop frowning.

I needed to understand. My wife needed to know our little one was safe.

The doctors wanted me to understand how the situation wasn’t at all how they’d thought.

They needed me and my wife to prepare ourselves.

I needed someone to explain why all the staff suddenly looked so worried.

My wife needed extremely urgent exceptional measures.

They wanted, no, needed my consent.

I wanted my wife and baby to be safe.

I wanted not to understand what the monitors were telling me. But I did understand.

My wife needed reassurance, love, support, my hand and more reassurance.

I wanted my wife and baby to be safe.

The staff needed me to know how unusual and serious things were.

I needed to distract my wife from the terror everywhere.

She needed to look into my eyes.

I needed my wife and baby to be safe.

I needed my wife to have the life of happiness she’s always wanted and truly deserved.

My love for my wife needed me to sit down.

I looked up and there were 13 staff in the room. And it all went quiet.

They suddenly needed me to stand up with my camera.

I didn’t need a second glance.

She needed no more beauty.

Our baby had arrived and my wife was safe.

I wanted to preserve the moment forever. So I did.

I watched as our little one was taken to one side and then helped to breathe.

She didn’t need it. She wanted to be.

She needed to be wrapped up in towels.

She wanted hugs and cuddles from daddy. Daddy needed to give them.

And as I held, cuddled and stared, I sang to her. A song of love from mummy and daddy we’ve sung her every day while pregnant.

After what she’d been through, she needed it.

And then I gave her to mummy.

She needed mummy’s skin. Mummy needed her.

I had everything I wanted. They were both safe. Their needs were met. So were mine.

My wife was beyond beautiful. My daughter was beyond beautiful.

And all of a sudden, this brilliant life had just started all over again. It wanted for nothing.

Ella Rae Cattell was born at 01:01 last Thursday morning. She weighed 8lb 14.5 oz. Lisa and Ella are permanent beauty. They are safe, gorgeous and simply meant to be together.

Taking a moment to choose our wants and needs changes lives. Our wants and needs have a fluid relationship. Sometimes, they love swapping places with each other without warning just to confuse us. It’s also true that on occasion, we humans are tempted to waste time chasing what isn’t really that important. But there are moments. Moments which have an energy and power that never fade.  These moments provide us with a clarity. It’s clear that when we connect with the true, purest needs of others, we want for nothing. Once those who need us are safe, thriving and happy, we couldn’t want for anything else.

Jonathan (aka ‘daddy’).

 

Wants and needs

How do wants and needs influence our lives? Human beings lead lives of fascinating invention and beauty. Our lives are a reservoir of the most beautiful moments. Sometimes, we make ourselves a bit too busy to enjoy these moments. But sometimes, moments that come out of the blue have a power that doesn’t stop resonating for the rest of our lives. Throughout each day, many of us are constantly busy deciding what we want to happen next; we identify our ‘wants’ and ‘needs’ from one moment to the next without even realising we’re doing it. Wants and needs are natural enough, but telling them apart can be tricky. So what’s the difference between a want and a need? Last Thursday morning, it took 37 minutes to find out. The answer is heaven.

Wants and needs are easily confused. And it’s true that ‘want’ and ‘need’ are expressed differently in different languages. There are many philosophies about how ‘needs’ can be unhealthy and how ‘wants’ are selfish. But living life to its full is so much more important than finding the right words to describe life, so let’s do the philosophy another time.

My wife and I found out in February that we were expecting our first baby. When we found out, we were actually still engaged and looking forward to our April wedding. We got married and as the months passed, my wife has become bigger and ever more beautiful. Our little one was due on 21^st October. And we were told “with 80% probability” that our baby would be a girl.

My wife is unique. One of the things I enjoyed about her when we met was that unlike many, she quickly gets passionate about what she can do for others in the world rather than what others in the world should be doing for her. It’s beautiful. And as the years have passed, it’s become even stronger.  She doesn’t ‘want’ or ‘need’ from others very often. But she did dream of being a mother. I knew she’d be an incredible mother. She didn’t ‘want’ or ‘need’ to be a mum. It was something stronger.

21^st October came and went. No baby. Our home was made spotless for the 4^th time. No baby. 25^th October came. No baby. Lots of spicy curries, baths, raspberry tea, long walks etc. Just no baby.  Baby was fine.  Healthy, happy, right position, calm. Just not ready to come out yet. October reached its end. No baby. So last Wednesday, 2 November, I took my wife to our local hospital for our baby to be induced.

The people there were lovely and we expected to stay for a few days before our little one would be ready.  I helped my wife into the bath, got her some tea, and she relaxed. And as the afternoon then evening passed, it all seemed so gentile. My partner didn’t want chemical painkillers, and we just took our time and relaxed. We’d hoped for a homebirth but were ultimately advised against it, so we took our time and just wanted the smoothest, slowest, most trauma-free possible transition to parenthood. The birthing-pool had been requested and we smiled. No chemicals, no pollutants, just a healthy little one.

But…. no baby. Lots of monitoring and ensuring all was OK. Just no baby. The clock ticked, people came and went, blinks came and went.

Suddenly, everything changed. My wife went from almost asleep to screaming in less than 10 seconds.

Everything was suddenly about need and want.

I wanted her pain to leave.

She needed my support.

I wanted her contraction to end so she could breathe ok.

She didn’t know what she needed. The contractions didn’t stop. She needed air.

I wanted to understand what she needed.

She needed to understand why these sudden contractions weren’t ending.

The screams suddenly became constant and the nurses needed to evacuate the whole maternity ward.

The mothers and mothers-to-be wanted to get out quickly.

My wife needed some comfort but didn’t want chemicals.

I needed some answers.

She needed me.

The midwives wanted my wife to lie down. She couldn’t.

They needed her to stand still. She wouldn’t.

They wanted whatever would be easiest for her. She tried. She couldn’t.

She needed the midwives.

They suddenly looked very different. 1 had turned into 3 then 5. And they needed things to happen fast.

My wife needed peace-of-mind and I wanted her to have it.

It was wanting.

We were suddenly in a different room.

My wife wanted to know what was happening.

The midwives wanted to understand too. Their faces were shouting that something was very wrong. They needed others.

Something didn’t make sense for them and they needed a doctor quickly.

My wife needed leadership.

I needed to distract her, make her look me in the eye and breathe deeply.

She needed me. But she wanted me to shut up. As long as I kept talking to her.

The gas and air needed strengthening. I wanted the doctors now stood next to the midwives to stop frowning.

I needed to understand. My wife needed to know our little one was safe.

The doctors wanted me to understand how the situation wasn’t at all how they’d thought.

They needed me and my wife to prepare ourselves.

I needed someone to explain why all the staff suddenly looked so worried.

My wife needed extremely urgent exceptional measures.

They wanted, no, needed my consent.

I wanted my wife and baby to be safe.

I wanted not to understand what the monitors were telling me. But I did understand.

My wife needed reassurance, love, support, my hand and more reassurance.

I wanted my wife and baby to be safe.

The staff needed me to know how unusual and serious things were.

I needed to distract my wife from the terror everywhere.

She needed to look into my eyes.

I needed my wife and baby to be safe.

I needed my wife to have the life of happiness she’s always wanted and truly deserved.

My love for my wife needed me to sit down.

I looked up and there were 13 staff in the room. And it all went quiet.

They suddenly needed me to stand up with my camera.

I didn’t need a second glance.

She needed no more beauty.

Our baby had arrived and my wife was safe.

I wanted to preserve the moment forever. So I did.

I watched as our little one was taken to one side and then helped to breathe.

She didn’t need it. She wanted to be.

She needed to be wrapped up in towels.

She wanted hugs and cuddles from daddy. Daddy needed to give them.

And as I held, cuddled and stared, I sang to her. A song of love from mummy and daddy we’ve sung her every day while pregnant.

After what she’d been through, she needed it.

And then I gave her to mummy.

She needed mummy’s skin. Mummy needed her.

I had everything I wanted. They were both safe. Their needs were met. So were mine.

My wife was beyond beautiful. My daughter was beyond beautiful.

And all of a sudden, this brilliant life had just started all over again. It wanted for nothing.

 

Ella Rae Cattell was born at 01:01 last Thursday morning. She weighed 8lb 14.5 oz. Lisa and Ella are permanent beauty. They are safe, gorgeous and simply meant to be together.

 

Our wants and needs have a fluid relationship. Sometimes, they love swapping places with each other without warning just to confuse us. It’s also true that on occasion, we humans are tempted to waste time chasing what isn’t really that important. But there are moments. Moments which have an energy and power that never fade.  These moments provide us with a clarity. It’s clear that when we connect with the true, purest needs of others, we want for nothing. Once those who need us are safe, thriving and happy, we couldn’t want for anything else.

 

Jonathan (aka ‘daddy’).

XXX

Thinking is strange. On the one hand, we need it. Yet the more we think, the more our heads hurt. If we don’t think enough, we don’t understand situations properly. Yet when we think too much, we instantly over-complicate things.  So what is the ‘right’ balance – a ‘healthy’ amount of thinking to do? Just as importantly, what role should thinking and ‘brains’ play in leadership? Is good leadership about doing things in a clever way? The journey to the answer lies in how many X’s you can handle.

The impact of our brains on our behaviours shouldn’t be underestimated. So how do we feed our brains? Here’s what many of us do.… we experience things which we use to create perceptions… then we create ‘information’… then we find a way of understanding this information… we react to it… we make assumptions… then we have a very private response to all this that creates what we call ‘opinions’. Sounds like a straight-forward process, but what does thinking do for leadership?

This last week, the British Defence Minister Dr. Liam Fox has been torn to pieces by the press. The story has gone a little like this… the minister has a close friend. This friend has described himself as an advisor to the Minister when meeting important people in business and around the world. Though not an official representative of the British Government, this man has participated in extensive discussions concerning Government relationships and decision-making. Who was this man? How much did he influence his friend the Minister? Was his presence good or bad? How do we work out ‘right and wrong’ in this situation? Just as importantly, given that the Cabinet Minister – a very clever chap with a PhD – sits right at the core of Britain’s political leadership, how should his boss – the Prime Minister – be a great leader here? What and how should a Prime Minister be thinking during this?

The Minister resigned. But hang on. How many assumptions are we making? How reliable was the information that led to this scandal? How planned was the role of the media? Who benefits from the Minister being removed and replaced by someone else? How certain can we be that what we have now is ‘better’ than what we had before? How powerful is human reaction to incoming information and how easily-to-manipulate do these many sources of information make us? Managing response-to-information is an interesting challenge.

A document released by the British government[1] shows how clever the British Government used to be at managing spies.  In 1939, Britain’s leadership created something called “Security Intelligence Middle East” (SIME). It was run by MI5 officers based in Cairo. This was rapidly followed by the creation of the “Inter-Services Liaison Department” (ISLD), run by MI6 Officers based in Istanbul. Both organisations work to protect British interests. Broadly speaking, MI5 stops people getting up to mischief in Britain, whereas MI6 is responsible for conducting mischief abroad. Of course, these lines sometimes became blurred, so the political leadership then created something called “SIME Special Section”, which contained officers from both services.

SIME Special section created a leadership group called the ‘Twenty Committee’, also written as the “XX Committee”. This contained some very clever people. As you might be able to guess, the role of this “XX Committee” was to devise clever ways of getting enemy spies to “Double-Cross” (XX) their own people. In other words, they used to catch the spies of their enemies (Nazi Germany then later the Soviet Union etc) then ‘turn’ these agents into ‘Double-Agents’, meaning that these enemy spies instead began serving Britain while pretending to be Britain’s enemy. These Double-Agents clearly betrayed those who trusted them. All the time, they had to pretend to hate Britain.  

Imagine what would have happened if the Media had got hold of this, received only half the truth about this and splashed the half-news across TV screens. Like headlines, how many Leadership decisions are made and opinions formed with only part of the needed information?

The Thirty Committee (“XXX Committee”) took things even further.  More than ‘Double-Crossing’ their enemy, the XXX Committee ‘Triple-crossed’ the enemy. They did some really clever disinformation. When Britain’s own spies were captured and the enemy tried to turn them into Double-Agents working for Britain’s enemy, Britain would then turn them back again. In other words, the enemy would THINK the spy was originally working for the UK, they’d THINK the spy had been convinced to betray Britain, but all the time, the information being passed by the spy to Britain’s enemy was created by British Intelligence in such a way that the enemy would make poor decisions, while THINKING they were being really clever. Britain’s XXX Committee was blooming clever. They came up with the sneakiest of ways of saving British lives by disinforming Britain’s enemies. They created false spy networks and ways of disinforming the enemy that make your head hurt. One of their operations (“Operation STIFF”) even involved them dressing a corpse in a military uniform and breaking the corpse’s neck, before strapping the corpse into a faulty parachute and throwing it out of an aircraft over enemy territory. The corpse was armed with ‘real’ codes which enabled the enemy, once the body had been discovered (and assumed to have been killed while parachuting), to intercept “secret” British communications. The communications were of course entirely false, but the enemy didn’t know that. The enemy made decisions based on false information and lives were saved.

In the world of Defence and Security, Secret Agents need to cross (X) people. Double agents need to double-cross (XX) people. And Triple Agents need to triple-cross (XXX) people. How much farther can this go? And just as importantly, how many of these X’s can your head deal with?

Few of us are spies, but how much information and thinking do we allow ourselves to get bogged down with? How many X's do we introduce into our lives? What happens when we think? And when we think about what others are thinking? What about when we think about how others think we might be thinking? And should we be thinking about how to influence how others could possibly be made to think if we just start thinking a bit differently? Thinking about thinking provokes thought.

Head hurting yet?  Leadership isn’t about thinking, so what’s the best way of leading people? What else is it that makes some people great at leadership?

Forget the X’s. Stop thinking. Turn off your mind. Ditch the words. Throw your postgraduate Degrees away. Stop reasoning. Bin the balanced consideration. Put down that Sudoku… give up trying to explain, justify or riposte.

Just be you.

There’s nothing quite like you. The way you are, the ways in which you behave, they all make the biggest difference. Your instincts are exceptional. Just forget using language to describe them. Don’t think about it. Forget the interpretations, descriptions and perceptions of others. Just be.

If you’re a leader and want to do a great job, it’s easier than you think….

Be what you want to see. It’s a no-brainer.

:-) Jonathan X

 

[1] PRO KV4/197

 

Spiders

Everything is here for at least one reason. Everything happens for at least one reason. Sometimes, the reason can take a while to show itself. And sometimes, we’re so busy focusing on other things - our ‘priorities’, that we can miss the subtle moments of learning that reveal themselves each day. Finally last week, after 38 years of torture, I overcame my biggest lifelong fear. And it took a woman to show me the way. She was an incredible woman. She had unforgettable legs. They went all the way up… all eight of them. 

Fear is a powerful thing. It brims with energy, it transforms us in a blink, it sets us alight and triggers our radar at full tilt. And few things ignite- and energise us more than our desire to run, hide, self-preserve and close ourselves down. So what if… instead of allowing fear to use our energy to shut us down, we used it to make us quickly grow? 

How many things have we been scared of over the years? The bogeyman… barking dogs… the monsters in Doctor Who… ‘Chuckie’-type dolls and clowns… heights… wasps… snakes… trigonometry? And what threat did any of these things actually pose? What harm could they ever really have done us? There’s an expression in English – irrational fear – this implies there isn’t a logical explanation for the fear. Threat is a question of perception, but fear is never irrational. We always have a logic behind our fears, but our logics are like our languages… each person’s functions differently, and we need to learn it to understand it. But what is the opportunity in fear? 

Imagine for a second. You’re three years old. You’re in bed, drifting off to sleep. When all of a sudden, this huge monster-thing you’ve never seen before comes out of nowhere and runs across your legs. You scream out loud, shout for your mum, she runs up the stairs, removes it, strokes your head and tells you not to worry - it was only a ‘spider’.

“Spider”… “Spider”… “Spider”. Even at an early age, some words, you couldn’t forget if you tried. I didn’t sleep that night. And during the childhood years, each and every time I saw a spider, my heart would race, my mind would accelerate, I’d run, scream and then I’d freeze. No matter what, the spider needed to go. I would do anything for the person who got rid of it. Spider-removal became like a black-market commodity, like a drug, some sort of addiction… something I’d do anything for.

Yet all the time, you knew it was ridiculous. Your head knew the spider didn’t mean any harm and couldn’t harm you if it tried. You knew that it was more terrified of you – at 3000 times its size – than you should ever be of it. But your head wasn’t in control… your fear-instinct was. You hated your fear, you knew it was holding you back, you knew it wasn’t right. But you also knew that in those moments, you are more alert, aware and responsive than at any other time. What if you could feel like this whenever you wanted, just for all the right reasons?

As the adult years arrived and began to move swiftly by, I loved having a go at the ‘fears’, ‘scary things’ and the ‘impossibles’. My career started in Officer Training with the British Military. I’d been awarded a few scholarships by the RAF while still at school and what had driven me to apply was the realisation that they would be impossible to get. But I got them. I accidentally destroyed (oops) a military aircraft one day then climbed aboard another the very next day to address any fear.  While a student and working at a luxury campsite in France, I one day had to calm down an elderly Dutch lady by catching a snake with my bare hands next to her caravan. I was terrified of snakes. But so was she.  And no sooner had I caught it that she told me she would only be able to sleep if I cut its head off with the lady’s own breadknife. How on earth would I handle this? It took me 25 minutes pretending to kill that snake before I disappeared with it in a bag, with me shaking and truly terrified.  Address the fear. When after university, I applied for jobs that wanted mother-tongue German speakers (I’m British), I knew they’d be impossible to get, so I applied. And I got them. And I gave up my early career to investigate MI6 and Austria. Everybody told me it was impossible. So I did my best. And it went well. Address the impossible. Address the fear.

‘Fears’ and ‘impossibles’ are something I’ve always loved. So what on earth was different about spiders?

It was last week that I found the answer.  It was a huge spider that showed me the way. And my wife who’s expecting our first child in the month ahead.

“Jonathan!” came the shout. Was the baby coming? Was something wrong? When I got upstairs, everything was ok. But my wife was pointing and stressed. She’d found a spider. A huge one. Huge. She was terrified. And it was a seriously fast mover.

It was big. My stomach turned over the way it has for 38 years. But then I looked around. My wife was terrified. The spider was terrified. Would this be showing our baby how to be terrified too? Is that what we want? What do we want this energy to do for us? And as I looked, I wondered why so many of us would hit this little thing with a shoe. We human beings need to move away from destroying things we don’t like. And all of a sudden, without seeing it coming, I had immediate access to all the memories and moments throughout my life when a spider had suddenly arrived. The countries I’d lived in, the friends I’d known, the places where I’d belonged, the smells, the faces, the memories.

And then it dawned on me. This fear wasn’t about the spider. This fear I’d had my whole life was simply about me needing privacy.  To be able to remember and enjoy the moments of my own life in a special way from time to time by freezing out the present. Fear provided true privacy. And I’d simply been using the spider.

For the first time in my life, I picked up this terrified huge tiny thing, opened the window, let it out safely so that it didn’t get hurt, then I smiled. I wanted our baby to feel the energy created when her daddy protects tiny things that are scared. And I wanted to remove the assumption that fear is followed by destruction. And when fear arises in the future, where possible, I want to now immediately sense its opportunities, not its limiting assumptions.

Hungry lions hurt. So do cars that hit us at speed. And falling off a tall bridge hurts too. Some fears are understandable… threat is out there. But how many of our fears, nervousness and worries actually pose no threat whatsoever? How much of our worrying is actually attention-seeking? 

How many of the things we’re scared of or worried about create an energetic reaction that’s difficult to explain? When we choose to experience-  then use fear-energy differently, our life turns a corner.  When we choose to grow and be bigger, fear feels different. It fires us up with a sense of opportunity to behave beyond our past. When instead of thinking about it too much, instead of repeating the way we behaved when we were 3, we choose to challenge ourselves by not thinking anymore, not worrying anymore, not pausing anymore, but instead just doing it – picking up the huge spider – our roles change. We start to sense opportunity everywhere. And the ripple this creates flows across our whole life. So this week, take a moment to challenge yourself to enjoy some fear. Go and find something scary. If you're initially hesitant, connect with how you’ll feel once you’ve done it. Scare yourself. Then enjoy how much better life will permanently feel from then on knowing you've moved on.

(p.s. The spider world wanted to thank me for our newly-signed peace treaty. By way of thanks, the Ambassador below popped in to say hello just this morning. We shook hands and I measured him. 13cms. I'm serious. Thank GOD the fear has gone.)

:-) Jonathan

the 'C' word

Just recently, lots of people have started using a powerful word in a new way. Some people would say it’s a bad word. In fact, many people think it’s a vulgar word. It strikes disgust into the hearts of many professionals who hear it, and upon hearing it, some cower with revulsion. Inside businesses these last few years, life’s been especially challenging, and so this word’s recently started getting used much more. But is this word really as dreadful as people fear? The word is one you know… it’s the ‘C’ word…. Change.

What does ‘change’ mean? True, it depends on the context of its use. And true, the power of any word is in what you personally hear rather than what was said. But why do so many people have a silent negative reaction whenever they hear from their business that they need to change something about themselves? Isn’t change simply philosophical and dependent on perspectives? Or does it actually have a clear meaning?

This all started a short while ago during a meeting with a senior Director we know at a large business. His people have been working particularly hard recently. A few years ago, their leadership had reacted quickly to the financial downturn by trying to turn their business into a kind of ‘lean, mean, fighting machine’.  This made sense at the time. Their trading environment was changing, their competitors were adapting, and so it was logical to change the way the business met the needs of its existing and future customers. To ensure the business responded well – and quickly – to the changing business environment, ensuring people wouldn’t lose their jobs, their people needed to change too. They thought this seemed reasonable. It was logical, wasn’t it? And for a short while, the business responded well. Until, that is, a few things started happening.

First, their most promising people left to join other businesses. Sure, he said, businesses will always lose people, but they couldn’t work out why it was only the very best who were leaving. Then, the company’s performance weakened faster than the performance of its competitors. Why? Change was logical, wasn’t it? They’d done everything right, so why was it all going wrong? It was apparently only one morning when a long-serving manager spoke up that the company’s leadership began to understand – and listen. According to this manager, people there had always been ‘bubbly’. They’d always thanked each other, looked each other in the eye, smiled and asked how each other’s children were doing. But nowadays, no-one even said thank you anymore. They didn’t look like they enjoyed each other anymore. They didn’t even seem to enjoy being themselves anymore.  And they were scared and nervous all the time. They were nervous about what their bosses would demand of them next. She said it felt like they wanted to give their minimum but present it as their maximum. What she’d always loved about this business was that people were encouraged to be themselves. But that had gone. So had all the best people. So too had the great results the business had always achieved.

In summary, this Director asked us… how can you change the way people change as a result of change? He then asked… what is it about the need for change that closes good people down?

Last week, we were with another impressive business. It’s a business most people will have brought something from in the last month or so. During our conversation, the person we were with just happened to mention that developing their people properly is crucial, but there was a building, unspoken fear of ‘change’. We commented that in our experience, people respond best – and most effectively - to change when they don’t realise change is the objective.

So where does this fear of change come from? What hidden messages is the ‘C’ word sending us? Is ‘change’ really just a ‘work’ thing? When we hear ‘change’, are we actually hearing something else?

Let’s take the ‘C’ word away from work for a moment. Let’s look at it another way.

It’s late one evening. You’re lying in bed, next to your partner, reading. Suddenly, he/she closes their book, takes off their glasses, looks at you, then it comes out. “Darling, I love you. Thank you for all these years we’ve shared together. The thing is, the person you are is no longer good enough for me. You used to be good enough, but you’re not anymore. Everything you are simply isn’t what I need from now on. Even the dog doesn’t like you anymore. You’ve got a chance though - it’s up to you - if you change quickly into what I need you to be, we’ll stay together. Thanks babe. Good luck. Goodnight.” What kind of night’s sleep would this give you? And how would you feel the next night in bed before the lights go out? And how would you feel each and every time your partner started to speak from then on?

Hmmmm.

What if it were just done a little differently? Imagine the same scenario, then he/she speaks. “Darling, I love you.  Thank you for all these years we’ve shared together. Have you any idea how much of a difference you make to my life each and every day? There are so many things you do that you don’t even see anymore, but I notice them all. And each time you do them, it’s like the first day we met. I adore you. And I know we’ve been through some tough times recently. You’ve been incredible for me. You have made the most massive difference to what we’re achieving. I couldn’t have done any of this without you and I can’t thank you enough. There’s a special way in which I’d like to say thank you tomorrow. We haven’t done it before and I just wanted to surprise you with something we can have fun with tomorrow. Come here gorgeous, shall we have a laugh tomorrow and give it a go?”

Now (ahem), what happens next in this scenario once the light gets turned off is ENTIRELY your own business. But which scenario would get the best out of you the next day?

The word ‘Change’ sends people many messages.  People can hear ‘you’re not good enough’; they can hear ‘if you’re not completely different really soon, you’ll have to go’; they can hear ‘panic!’; they can hear ‘you’d better not fail’, and they can hear ‘you can never, ever again relax and you’ll never be able to guess what’s waiting for you around the corner’. So why not change ‘change’?

When people are buzzing, when they’re inspired, when they are recognised, when they are on fire, when they know they’re making a unique difference, when they pick up that their colleagues are feeling it too, and when there’s something new they’re unlocking in themselves and others, they don’t even see ‘change’. They’re so busy enjoying their connection with what they’re doing and what’s important to them, that it’ll only be later that they look back and realise something big has happened. And they’ll look back smiling. So let’s change the ‘C’ word. Let’s create something more electric into which we can slip the required change, so that people enjoy the difference. Make necessary change the powerful consequence of what people do, rather than the objective of what they’re doing. All people can quickly make the most extraordinary change happen if you observe some simple rules:  don’t use the ‘C’ word... always create buzz… and let them know that who they already are is more than people could wish for.

Now, let’s get that light out… and let’s have a cracking week.

Goodnight.

Jonathan

 

'professional' Pandora's box

Ever wondered what happens to people when they dump the ‘professional’ façade? Ever wondered what would happen to you?

In the last week or so, I have had the pleasure to begin coaching a couple of new clients in senior leadership roles. I love starting to work with someone new. Being excited about what the opportunity might hold for them, curious about how the relationship will evolve and open to whatever might need to happen for them. It is such a lovely feeling when you see someone start to make big realisations and to see that there are whole sides to them that they have kept hidden, not explored or not even really been aware of.  And working with people in the way we do, it has become so crystal clear to me… being ‘professional’ has a lot to answer for!

As a coach and working energetically with people, you never really know what is going to happen when you coach someone or where the real learning and shifts will come from. It always intrigues me (and slightly amuses me it must be said) that we go through a process of meeting up with the manager of the person to be coached, agreeing objectives and trying to make sure that everyone in the business is clear about what the coaching shall achieve. Of course, this is an important part of the process – it unlocks some good honesty in people and it creates a sense of direction. However, when the coaching actually starts, what is written down on the piece of paper is so rarely the true underlying issue or purest potential. It is only when you get to that deeper level of potential with people that things really start to change. And, thankfully, when you work with people at this level, all of the originally-stated objectives are achieved anyway!

The other thing I notice is how often common themes emerge in the people I‘m coaching. I don’t look for this or consciously attract it to me but I notice that the people who want to work with me often have common themes, and these themes also often relate to areas that I happen to be passionate about. Perhaps this is part of the Law of Attraction at work. I attract people to me who, at some level, feel my passion for the individual, individual expression and working at a deeper level of awareness and consciousness.

So, the common theme I was noticing last week was about the ways in which people choose to be ‘professional’ - and the impact that this has on people and their leadership style. We may assume that it is natural to want to be seen as professional, after all most people want to be taken seriously at work don’t they? We want our colleagues to listen to us and respect us, to take on board what we say and for us to present a sense of ‘gravitas’. It all makes sense on a logical level. However, the impact of all this is actually quite different.

What being ‘professional’ often actually translates to is conforming, being logical and sensible, taking very few risks and presenting ourselves in a way that we judge (assume) is acceptable to others. It also often means that we present quite a one-sided version of ourselves. There are so many times when I start to coach people and I see all these wonderful, amazing sides of them that I just know that their colleagues don’t see! What a shame that in the place and doing the activity where we spend most of our time, people often don’t get to see what is uniquely remarkable about who we are.

The irony is that often when people are being ‘professional’, their intention is to project a sense of leadership and gravitas. To get others to follow them. Logically, it all makes sense. However, the actual impact is actually often too logical and flat. What it misses is inspiration, true leadership and the power and energy that true leaders have. To lead in this way can feel like it has some vulnerability and risk in allowing other people to really see who you are. And yet, when you do it, you realise that it is more powerful than you could have imagined and you feel a lot less vulnerable than when you are presenting a façade and keeping parts of you hidden.

I learnt this lesson in one of my last full time corporate jobs years ago. I worked for a company where the majority of people seemed very different from me. I was much more emotional, strategic and intuitive by nature whereas the culture was very logical, practical and short term. And, so what did I do? I tried to fit in. But it was tough and I felt at some level that I wasn’t being me, wasn’t as good as people thought I was and would get ‘found out’ at some point. The turning point came when I made the decision that I would leave and set up my own business. I was still at the business for about a year after the decision was made but, because I knew my long term future wasn’t there, I took the shackles off. I suddenly felt able to be me – even down to the way I dressed and how I behaved. And, guess what? They loved it! I was probably even more successful and happier in that last year than at any other time at that company, and what I realised was that I could have done that at any time. I’d always just told myself I couldn’t and that it wouldn’t be ok.

So, my challenge to anyone reading this this week? Show yourself and your colleagues who you really are! Drop any professional façade and trust in yourself and others that when you are truly you, you can’t help but be more powerful and a better leader. And, you’ll have a lot more fun along the way too! Thank you to my wonderful clients too for demonstrating to me how amazing we all are at our core and allowing me to witness what they are capable of. I feel truly honoured and blessed to do this very special work.

Go on... enjoy showing yourself this week. :-)

Lisa. X

Who dares stand?

In the last week or so our country seems to have been gripped by a new challenge of morality - the News International scandal. Perhaps it’s seeing wayward leadership being brought down to size or the revulsion many have felt at the phone tapping not just of celebrities but of soldiers and victims such as Millie Dowler. The question that has been buzzing around me is – How can this happen in an organisation? What makes it ‘ok’ to behave in a way that only in hindsight becomes 'wrong'? And, how can individuals guard against it?

Every organisation has its culture of course and, as human beings, it’s tricky not to be influenced by the culture around us. We join a company and we notice how other people behave, what gets recognised and rewarded and who seems to be moving onwards and upwards. And, somewhere in us, consciously or unconsciously, we start to take on these behaviours and to adapt to the environment around us. All this is well and good of course, we are used to adapting to different situations and to finding out and exploring what works for us and others, it would be wrong for us to exist in our own little vacuum and to just carry on with our behaviours regardless of impact. You see this instinct even in very young children. They say something or behave in a certain way and then notice the response. If it is positive, it fires them up to do more. All well and good.

However, there is another side to all of this great adapting. What happens when there is something that is not so positive in the culture? When it is slightly aggressive, dismissive or steps over some moral or legal line? Who is the one who has the courage to challenge even when their view isn’t the norm or acceptable? The courage to say what is right and wrong? Years ago, I met someone socially who worked for a big airline. He was telling me that they were cracking down on airline crew taking home bottles of alcohol and other ‘freebies’ from the plane. Apparently, it was actually illegal for people to do this but it had just become the norm. So, at the end of a flight, everyone would take a bottle home and think nothing of it. After all, everyone did it. So, if someone new joined, they would be told that it was ok and so the behaviour and the culture continued. Apparently, when the company started to crack down and reinforce to people that this was actually theft, the people concerned were shocked. That wasn’t their intention at all. They were just doing what everyone else did, in their minds it had almost become part of their remuneration package.  It set me thinking about how much this group behaviour and group think pervades in other organisations and the dangers this causes.

So, how do we as individuals in organisations or businesses guard against this kind of dangerous norming and ‘group think’? For me, it feels like there are two things that businesses need to encourage and individuals need to do that really make the difference.

1. The courage to be a ‘champion’. When Genergy works in organisations that want a change of culture, we are often looking for what we call ‘champions’. People who are fired up about the future, new, positive way of doing things - and who are prepared to really stand at the forefront of something and give it a go, not just sit and wait for it to come from the top or for someone else to create a place of acceptable safety first. Recently I was running a big project with a large insurance company. One of the businesses within this company has a very risk averse, task driven, controlling culture. There is a new MD there who is trying to create change and has a very ‘coaching style’ of leading and managing - but the old culture still very much pervades. We have heard a lot of people say that they can’t do things differently because ‘the culture won’t let them’ or that things need to change at their boss’s level first. They are just too afraid to be the ones who put their heads above the parapet. And, within this environment, we have met some truly remarkable people. One individual really impressed me. This guy was a very technical expert. He was quiet and reflective and really didn’t make that much of an impression in the group at the beginning.

However, as the first day went on, you could see that light bulbs were going on for him and he was beginning to see a very different way that he could manage and lead his people. He left the 2 day programme really fired up and he had inspired me in the way that he had stepped out of his comfort zone and really gone for everything that we were teaching him. This particular programme had a follow up day about six weeks later where we met the delegates again and talked to them about what had changed as well as teaching them some new skills. I’d already heard some really good feedback about this guy through the grapevine. Comments like – ‘x is like a man possessed’ and ‘what did you do to him?!” where commonplace. So, in the first part of the day, we got the delegates into groups to share their successes. This guy went into a group and everyone started talking about how busy they were and the culture and how hard it was to change anything.

And, I observed… to see what would happen. 

Suddenly, this man started to speak and there was total silence as he did so. Quietly and calmly but with total passion, he told the group about everything he had changed and done since the last time they had met and the results that he had had. In the nicest possible way, he challenged them about this thing called ‘culture’ and made them see that it was really a white elephant and that they had within their power to make happen whatever they wanted to happen. As I watched, I couldn’t help but smile. Some of the other guys there were stronger, more forceful characters on the surface and usually would take up much more of the airspace but you could have heard a pin drop as they realised that there was so much more within their control and power than they were allowing themselves to see. A beautiful moment.

        2.  Retaining your own internal radar and individuality. They say that children know the difference between right and wrong very early. We have an internal sense of what feels right, regardless of what is happening or seems to be ok around us. Often it is just a nagging feeling, a feeling in the gut or a sense of unease. And, we put it to one side because the majority seems to be against it or we might look foolish or we think that it might even affect our career prospects. And, yet, it is this individuality that not only keeps a business on track but also provides the creative fuel that is so important to a business’ ongoing success.

I saw a lovely example of this on You Tube recently. It was a clip from Innocent smoothies about a man who chooses to stand rather than sit whilst everyone else sits around him. A nice metaphor I thought for those who choose to stand apart because it feels right and that it then brings in a different, challenging energy to the business. See what you think. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hga4WLqgEtE.

You don’t have to be a maverick to be true to yourself and to take a stand. It’s easy to blame the people at the top (and they do have an overall responsibility), but a business and culture is made up of lots of people just like you. You just have to be tuned into your own internal belief system, to notice those ‘niggles’ when things aren’t right and to have the courage to stand up and be counted. I don’t honestly believe that most businesses want a whole load of corporate clones working for them, and when individuals are allowed truly express who they are, it releases a sense of rightness and a creative energy that will fire up those businesses to really be great in the future.

What could be better in your business today if you just took a moment... to stand up?

Lisa x

The Transformative Power Of Change

Just how much change should we change? Change is unavoidable, but what if we keep the true transformational power of the change, while simply changing the way change is delivered? This last week I have been struck by how much change we are often confronted with in our lives and how transformative change can be if we allow it to be so. 

For the last 4 months I have been working with a big company which is going through an enormous amount of change. The great news is that this company is doing exceptionally well and whereas many in its sector are contracting, this company is expanding, bringing on new partners and acquiring new businesses. I have been working intensively with this business for over a year now and what has been constant in this time is the fact that it has been continually evolving and growing and that its managers and leaders are working at the forefront of this change with all the challenges and opportunities that this entails.

Working with this business in its process of change has also coincided with my partner Jonathan and I also going through a big cycle of change. We recently got married and are also expecting our first child. All of this is incredibly exciting, and, has caused me to question the process of change and how we can powerfully use the energy of it in our lives.

Most people who have worked in business or people development will be very familiar with a standard ‘change curve’. Standard wisdom has it that when change is afoot, people will go through a change process which is to be expected. This will be through the stages of shock, denial, frustration and then hopefully onto acceptance and integration. This supposedly applies both at an individual and at a company wide level when companies are going through a culture change. All of this makes logical sense and potentially resonates at some level with our own experience of change. However, today I am posing a question. Does it really have to be so? What if we could approach change in a different way and shortcut some of the pain in the middle of the process?

Coming back to the business I am working with, I have seen people with all sorts of different reactions to change. In the programme we are running, we are essentially teaching managers how to lead, coach and release potential in their people. As part of the programme, the managers coach each other. For some of the individuals involved, this has been a truly transformative experience. This week, one individual was being coached around how she delivers in the business. She has come from outside the business, is clearly very dynamic and used to a faster pace than she is now experiencing. As she was being coached, you could see the frustration starting to bubble over and, as the coaching supposedly concluded, she suddenly burst into tears.  The emotion totally took her by surprise and she looked shocked and a little embarrassed that she could have such a strong reaction. Myself and the coach just held the space for her to cry and allow the emotion out. And, at the end and connecting to the highest energy of the situation, I asked her, ‘What is the real potential for you and your team here?’. As I said those words, she started to laugh as she realised that it was her own overly high standards and judgement that were getting in the way of her success and that this business held the potential for her to use her leadership in a very different way. At the end of the programme she wrote a personal addition to the feedback forms which thanked myself and my fellow coach for creating such a transformative experience for her. And, as the tears welled up when she said goodbye, we could sense that these were tears of relief, gratitude and excitement. Quite different from the tears of earlier.

And so, as I connect to this one amazing individual and many others that I have had the pleasure to work with on this programme, it strikes me that change can be much easier than we think if we get out of our own way. For me, there are many different levels that we can connect with any experience. We can connect to the pain, frustration and out of control feelings that the change generates, or we can connect to the transformative potential of it. For this individual, the pain just disappeared once she realised the potential in the situation. So, can we shortcut the frustration or maybe avoid it altogether if we trust that for whatever reason whatever is happening is perfect and connected to a higher purpose? We can fight against the change and try to maintain our current position of safely in the face of it, or, we can go with the flow of it and see what emerges. I know for myself, that when I am in a position of flow and trust, I allow whatever magic that wants to happen to emerge. And, I know that it is also not always easy to do!

So, perhaps in the future, change will look different and so much easier and more fun!

Step 1 – Connect to the energy of the change and the vision for you and the business behind it

Step 2 – Be in the flow of the change and sense the greater potential of it

Step 3 – Enjoy the ride! 

Simplistic? Maybe – but, in my experience, the best things are sometimes the most obvious and staring us right in the face if we take the time to look. We’d love to know your experiences of change. Let us know on the Genergy forum.

Happy Mondays!

Lisa Cattell (!)

 

Making the most of the In-between bit

I count myself as blessed that I am able to do something with my life that makes a real difference to people around me. I really love what I do and often find myself meeting and working with the most amazing people. However, sometimes I have an experience or work with a group that is such a privilege to be with that it moves me for weeks afterwards. On Monday and Tuesday last week I had one of those experiences and wanted to share it with you. It’s all about the power of teams and choice – what you do with ‘The In-between Bit’.

One of my truest passions in this work is working with teams. Something about the power and dynamic of a team holds the most massive potential for the people within it and for what they can achieve. I have seen time and time again, people move and shift more fundamentally and quickly as part of a team than they would necessarily on their own. The dynamic means that as one person grows, the constellation of the team changes and others are challenged out of their comfort zones too. If you can hold the magic and just allow what needs to happen to unfold with no judgement or pre-conceptions, you will be amazed at the result.

Last week's team are also truly graced because they have an amazing leader who is prepared to take risks and step out of his comfort zone and be vulnerable for the sake of the group. I facilitated the two days with another fantastic coach and with the leader of the team and it felt that, throughout the two days, the three of us were weaving together so naturally and beautifully and so in tune with the group that it would have been impossible to say who was doing what at any given time. This team leader created the possibility for change and a different way of operating and the team recognised this and, feeling safe, stepped inside. What is also remarkable is that this leader has created in his team something very different from the overall culture in the organisation. And word's getting around -people are starting to notice the change and that there is something different about his bunch of people. They are becoming catalysts who will fundamentally change the way people behave in the business – not by talking about it, but by having the courage to be and operate fundamentally differently. People often ask us how to create sustainable change – I would say that when people are connected in this way to a greater sense of purpose and to their own individual and group humanity, they don’t need processes or systems to keep them going, they are driven from within.

One of the most powerful parts of the day was when we asked each of the group to share 3 things that had defined them as a person, asking them to think about what would help their team mates understand them more. Wow. As each person shared their stories, you could see the layers that had built up through the years just fall away as they stood there - as the true power of who they are. And, as each person shared, the stories became deeper and more personal. Each person felt the permission to open up more and more and a new open space was created. Yas and I sat in awe as this all unfolded, I could feel the emotion rise up in me as people showed who they truly are at their core. How often can you say that you truly do this with people?

I could say so much about this amazing bunch of people. How open and trusting they were, how each and every one of them challenged themselves and stepped out of their comfort zones over the two days, how moved I was that a group of men (and one woman!) had the courage to be truly, powerfully, maturely emotionally open and what a true privilege it was to witness. However, it feels that some feedback from a member of this team captures it in a way that I couldn’t. We didn’t use standard feedback forms, we just asked the team to email us and write from the heart and core what they had experienced. Again, trusting that what was powerful would emerge. Here's what one male team member fed back to us... take a moment to enjoy its power:

“Everything has a life. All things are born and inevitably all things will die and a variety of things will happen In-between these two points.

 A Plant has a life – It is born from its seed. Its In-between bit is dependant on its surroundings, if it gets plenty of water and light it will grow strong and healthy and beautiful flowers will blossom before the plant dies. Without the light and water it may struggle to grow, live a short unhealthy life and never flower.

 A River has a life – It is born from a spring of water from a mountainside. Its In-between bit is dependant on the weather and terrain. If conditions are right it will grow into an immense river and carve through continents for centuries before finally drying up and dying. Other conditions may mean that it never becomes more than a trickle of water on the mountainside and dries up and dies quite quickly.

 A Star has a life – It is born through a coming together of gases and dust. Its In-between bit is dependant on the amount of Hydrogen it has in its mass. With plenty of Hydrogen It can shine and burn brightly for billions of years with less Hydrogen it may turn red and fade after millions.

 The In-between bit for almost everything that has a life is dependant on circumstances that the life is powerless to change.

The brilliant thing about people and the thing that separates our lives (or the life of the things we are involved in) from all others is that we have the ability to choose and decide what our In-between bit looks like. Obviously we are still influenced by outside factors; the weather, availability of food, the terrain we live on etc. but on the whole we decide which course our life will take and how we will respond to the circumstances that are presented to us.

 Our team has a life – AT SOME POINT IT WILL DIE! Lets not spend too much time being afraid of this or wondering when it’s going to happen, lets shine brightly, blossom fully and carve through continents, while we live lets be great. As a team we can choose to do exceptional things or mediocre things, it’s our choice.

 I think on Monday and Tuesday we set out our stall and made the choice as to how our team will live its life. We’re going to make things happen, embrace the challenges we face, improve ourselves with open feedback and while we’re at it we’re going to smile.

Of course we will have set backs and the terrain will be rocky at times, but I saw over the two days that as a team we’ll handle that and we’ll become even stronger because of it.

 Now all that remains is the easy bit, let’s live life to the full and together achieve our massive potential!!”

This powerful team has been truly transformed. But that's not really what this is about. My message this morning? Don’t wait for someone else to start a change. Trust that the conditions are all there and what we all decide on a daily and hourly basis is what to do with ‘the In-between bit’. You always have a choice to be the catalyst and to start the magic of change, not by speaking but by who you are and what you do. 

Lisa 

Seeing The Horse

When you look at people, do you see a frog, a prince or a horse?  It’s not a question I’ve heard before. It’s not one I ever imagined hearing myself ask. And it sounds strange at first. But at about 14:17 yesterday afternoon, I heard the question for the very first time. Yesterday, we spent another day working with the apprentices at Jamie Oliver’s ‘Fifteen’. And it was one of the most eye- and mind-opening experiences I’ve had in years. We’re buzzing from it. And I’m seeing horses everywhere. Want to hear about it?

Allow me first to state that I am not taking drugs. Nor am I suffering from any kind of psychosis. I checked this morning, and the mushrooms we’ve been eating recently are all of the normal kind. And the gas taps on our oven are most definitely pointing to ‘off’. So please trust me… this is real.

We work with lots of businesses, of all different kinds. And Lisa and Tash - who I was with yesterday - have worked in advanced leadership development with managers and teams for years. But just recently over the last few months, there’s been a special energy about both ladies. I don’t mean the beautiful, unique aura that they always seem to have, I mean something even more glowing. And it’s been something I’ve felt every single day, but which I’ve only been feeling from the edge. I’ve been looking in on it and listening to-, but not quite feeling what they’re doing. They’ve been radiating something very private.  Almost cult-like, you could say. They’ve had something in their eyes. Their voices have been a bit different. They’ve been creating something very special. And I realised yesterday that the team at Jamie Oliver’s Fifteen have been contributing to this. We’ve written about our day picking wild mushrooms with them before. But that was back in October. Yesterday I realised just how much – I mean… good grief... how quickly these amazing apprentices have made progress transforming how they operate.

We’d had fun preparing for yesterday. Lisa and Tash had done great work developing a day that would move at pace to unleash deep change. The day was about perspectives, choice, moment, alarms and triggers. Now we’ve all had thoughts on assumptions, mindsets, perspectives and self-management. Many people have also received training and development on these things. Rightly so. But the pure, true power of yesterday was how to handle this instinctively – in the moment. It’s important to explain why this was key.

The apprentices at ‘Fifteen’ aren’t executives. They don’t have offices or big, comfy chairs. And their work doesn’t include the kinds of meetings we’ve all attended in the corporate world. You know, the ones where you have time to think while others speak, when you have time to think about perspectives and time to contemplate the impact on others of what you’ll say next. The world of these apprentices is raw. It’s real-time. It’s in the moment. They’re learning to become world-class chefs. And that means a truly vertical learning curve. It’s tough there. They have to make progress ultra-fast.  They can’t serve the kind of fayre we’d get in just any old ‘good’ restaurant and then sit down and patiently discuss ‘how things went’. They have to quickly create the exceptional.  And they didn’t get there because of the school daddy paid for, nor because of mummy’s network of friends. In fact it’s the opposite. Their road to this apprenticeship has often been a tough one, full of bumps, potholes and crevasses. And often, it’s been a road they’ve had to walk alone. But walked it they have. And as a result, they are divinely honest, unpretentious, real and ready to challenge anything that comes their way. And they’re also ready for anything that will help them grow fast. 

So we were excited about what we had lined up for yesterday. But the beauty was that we let the energy of the room – of the apprentices – take the day where it truly needed to go. What made the day so powerful was how fantastically the apprentices embraced ‘the moment’. In other words, how to spot, choose and change assumptions and resultant perspectives – not philosophically or retrospectively – but in that hundredth of a second that is the very moment that they occur. And as we did this with them, they were alive. We talked about challenging moments, challenging relationships and the energy these create. And then came the energy.

From different parts of the room came a shower of pure, honest insight. Some had friends they really care about who are having it tough, and they realised they could handle moments with these friends in powerful new ways. Some admitted patterns of behaviour they recognised and have already started to fundamentally change and saw for the first time how to operate differently in each of their moments. And some talked about the very real challenges they constantly face with each other. And as each of them spoke, they weren’t telling stories about the past, they were speaking in the moment, using the language of ‘now’.  They felt the energy that ‘now’ creates, they discussed how to best use it, and they commented on the energy of the potential of each choice they make in the moment. When I was their age, I didn’t speak like this. Nor did the brightest of the people I’ve worked with in the past.

To be honest, we thought a slide we had would be really useful. But they took it further. Our slide had a frog and a prince on it. We wanted to use it to show how each moment of a person’s existence carried the energy of choice. We wanted them to know that each and every moment, reaction, thought, assumption and perspective was one they could choose and have control over by using its energy differently. And they got it fast. So fast, that I grinned from ear to ear when I heard what came next.

“I see a horse. The prince is sitting on a horse. A brown horse. What should I do if a person or a situation or moment I’m in turns out to be a horse, when I’m actually just trying to work out it whether it’s a frog or a prince?”. He wasn’t being clever or sarcastic, he meant it and his question was a great one. None of the questions we heard yesterday were academic or cerebral. They came from the real-time awareness of what energy does to people.

Have a think about the following other questions we heard the group ask each other yesterday. These questions were created not by cleverness or philosophy, but by real-time response to the life-changing energy created by the moments that Fifteen’s apprentices bring.

1. What is the best perspective to choose about how others change their perspectives?
2. When energy is telling me to look after myself but my heart wants to look after someone else, how do I choose?
3. When I choose a new perspective in the moment, how will others know I’m doing it for the right reason – do I have to explain what energy is?

Then a question came that made me wobble. It still does. It came from a serious male face that wasn’t looking for a cheap laugh. He was connected and speaking from a deep, centred part of himself. He meant it:

“Now that we’re all doing this, does that make us Genergy-efficient?”

These questions came out raw. These apprentices truly get it. They’re beginning to operate supremely differently. And because of yesterday, I’m more on fire and inspired than i've felt in years.

And I’m going to leave it there. While you’re looking for the horses in the energy of your own moments, enjoy every hundredth of each second.

Jonathan