Genergy

Hmmmm…

What flavour are you? When others have spent time with you, what taste do you leave them with? Not when you’re trying to impress, just when you’re simply being you. This last week, a woman has left us not quite sure how to describe the taste, but good grief – it tastes good. We’d like some more.

Each person is of course a unique mix of very similar things. We all offer our very own blend of character, personality, life-experiences, behaviours, preferences, values, opinions and priorities. Of course, how we mix them is up to us. So what’s it like for others when they’re with us?

It’s been a busy week. We at Genergy are currently developing the global management team of an exceptional business. They’ve gone from start-up to becoming a Times Top 100 company to work for in only 10 years. Their fantastic, devoted people would make any company more than proud. Helping ignite them further is creating an exciting buzz.

To revel in it all on saturday, my wife, daughter and I thought we’d go down to Brighton and get some ‘us time’. We had these plans, you see. We’d go shopping, walk around the streets, buy lots of things. There were so many things we needed, and Saturday would be a good time to pick them up. All of them. It’d be a busy day, but we could just about squeeze everything in. And our daughter Ella was ready for something new. She’s only 4 months old, so every new sight and smell is one exciting moment after another. So the train journey down was something else.

The sun was shining and the day was beautiful. But what was missing was a coffee. A good one. So once in Brighton, we looked for something different. And when we opened the door, we quickly knew we’d found it.

“Bonjour!!” Coffee shops can be a bit ten-a-penny these days, but this was different. It was a proper French one – with beautiful coloured macaroons and the kinds of cakes you don’t get in Britain very often. The pastries sat in the window smiling and flirting with all that walked by. And as we were shown to our seats (remember that in a coffee shop?), it was like being back in Austria and Switzerland where I used to work. And as we sat and looked around, it was perfect. It’s often said that people’s body language adapts to the environment you’re in, and around us, people young and old sat still. Everyone was calm and tranquil. Happy. Relaxed. The calmest of smiles.

And while sat waiting for our coffee, we smiled too. Relaxed.

Then she appeared.

“ ’Ello!” Welcome to ziss café. I am ze owneurrr!”. The loveliest elegant smile walked over to us. The French lady bearing it was in her early fifties and it was one of those smiles the bearer doesn’t know they have. It was beyond ear-to-ear. And as she arrived with our coffees, we started smiling a deeper smile too.  And she spoke to us in a way you don’t witness any more. She spoke with the truth of her passion for good coffee and exquisite home-baked cakes. She wasn't showing off or marketing anything, she was just really excited about coffee and cakes. We weren’t customers, we were people she was excited to share her passion with. And as she stopped with us talking about anything she wanted, we couldn’t stop smiling. And Ella – our daughter? She couldn’t stop smiling and laughing. Our daughter couldn’t get enough of this lady, and when I asked the lady to speak to ella in French, ella couldn’t believe it. She smiled, laughed and wriggled with ecstasy. And as we all had fun together simply by talking about coffee and cake, I realised the day had changed.

This lady didn’t want to leave us, and we didn’t want to leave her. But she kissed Ella on the head quickly ten times, then she was gone to bake more cakes. Ella was in heaven. My wife was happy and beautiful. Coffee is one of my passions, and this coffee was quite simply the best coffee I’ve had in any country. I’m not a fan of superlatives, but this coffee really was the best I’ve ever tasted. Our day had changed. Something else did too.

We left the café in the sweetest silence. We didn’t buy anything that day. And we didn’t rush round the shops either. Ella didn’t stop smiling all day, and neither did we. Nothing mattered in the same way anymore. We were still blissfully tasting what we’d just been served.

We’re all agreed that cakes are good. And a truly good coffee can have a day-changing power of its own. But the truest, most sumptuous delicacies in life are what we create with those around us. These dishes we create together are at their most sublime when we observe a simple rule… let’s enjoy each other, no matter how different we all are. Coffee and cakes can be expensive, but our special moments of life together like the one the French lady gave us on Saturday are just priceless.

So this week, enjoy someone around you – a friend or perhaps someone you work with – in a new way. Enjoy tasting them as if for the first time.

Bon appetit!

:-) Jonathan

The Transformative Power Of Change

Just how much change should we change? Change is unavoidable, but what if we keep the true transformational power of the change, while simply changing the way change is delivered? This last week I have been struck by how much change we are often confronted with in our lives and how transformative change can be if we allow it to be so. 

For the last 4 months I have been working with a big company which is going through an enormous amount of change. The great news is that this company is doing exceptionally well and whereas many in its sector are contracting, this company is expanding, bringing on new partners and acquiring new businesses. I have been working intensively with this business for over a year now and what has been constant in this time is the fact that it has been continually evolving and growing and that its managers and leaders are working at the forefront of this change with all the challenges and opportunities that this entails.

Working with this business in its process of change has also coincided with my partner Jonathan and I also going through a big cycle of change. We recently got married and are also expecting our first child. All of this is incredibly exciting, and, has caused me to question the process of change and how we can powerfully use the energy of it in our lives.

Most people who have worked in business or people development will be very familiar with a standard ‘change curve’. Standard wisdom has it that when change is afoot, people will go through a change process which is to be expected. This will be through the stages of shock, denial, frustration and then hopefully onto acceptance and integration. This supposedly applies both at an individual and at a company wide level when companies are going through a culture change. All of this makes logical sense and potentially resonates at some level with our own experience of change. However, today I am posing a question. Does it really have to be so? What if we could approach change in a different way and shortcut some of the pain in the middle of the process?

Coming back to the business I am working with, I have seen people with all sorts of different reactions to change. In the programme we are running, we are essentially teaching managers how to lead, coach and release potential in their people. As part of the programme, the managers coach each other. For some of the individuals involved, this has been a truly transformative experience. This week, one individual was being coached around how she delivers in the business. She has come from outside the business, is clearly very dynamic and used to a faster pace than she is now experiencing. As she was being coached, you could see the frustration starting to bubble over and, as the coaching supposedly concluded, she suddenly burst into tears.  The emotion totally took her by surprise and she looked shocked and a little embarrassed that she could have such a strong reaction. Myself and the coach just held the space for her to cry and allow the emotion out. And, at the end and connecting to the highest energy of the situation, I asked her, ‘What is the real potential for you and your team here?’. As I said those words, she started to laugh as she realised that it was her own overly high standards and judgement that were getting in the way of her success and that this business held the potential for her to use her leadership in a very different way. At the end of the programme she wrote a personal addition to the feedback forms which thanked myself and my fellow coach for creating such a transformative experience for her. And, as the tears welled up when she said goodbye, we could sense that these were tears of relief, gratitude and excitement. Quite different from the tears of earlier.

And so, as I connect to this one amazing individual and many others that I have had the pleasure to work with on this programme, it strikes me that change can be much easier than we think if we get out of our own way. For me, there are many different levels that we can connect with any experience. We can connect to the pain, frustration and out of control feelings that the change generates, or we can connect to the transformative potential of it. For this individual, the pain just disappeared once she realised the potential in the situation. So, can we shortcut the frustration or maybe avoid it altogether if we trust that for whatever reason whatever is happening is perfect and connected to a higher purpose? We can fight against the change and try to maintain our current position of safely in the face of it, or, we can go with the flow of it and see what emerges. I know for myself, that when I am in a position of flow and trust, I allow whatever magic that wants to happen to emerge. And, I know that it is also not always easy to do!

So, perhaps in the future, change will look different and so much easier and more fun!

Step 1 – Connect to the energy of the change and the vision for you and the business behind it

Step 2 – Be in the flow of the change and sense the greater potential of it

Step 3 – Enjoy the ride! 

Simplistic? Maybe – but, in my experience, the best things are sometimes the most obvious and staring us right in the face if we take the time to look. We’d love to know your experiences of change. Let us know on the Genergy forum.

Happy Mondays!

Lisa Cattell (!)

 

Accent runways

What exactly does ‘philosophy’ mean? And what about ‘moral philosophy’? Will we ever reach consensus on the meaning of ‘our responsibility to the world’? To what extent should we protect ourselves from the world and to what extent should we get involved? And when we hear or see something we don’t like, is it ok to tut, moan, and recriminate, or should we use it as a trigger to be the world we’d like to see? Shall we?

How should we respond to what’s happening in the world at the moment? Widespread energetic uprisings across Africa and the Middle-East have caught everyone’s attention. Power is changing, reforming, moving and being used to further differing agendas. And the lives of our brothers and sisters in Japan are being turned upside down, inside out. People just like us have lost those they love just as deeply as we love our own. People would give their own lives to protect those they have lost. Japan is far away, but what if the same things happened here? How would we cope? And if life is indeed so fragile, with our realities able to change but in a breath, what should we be doing until then, with each of these unique moments, opportunities and breaths of love we’ve been gifted?

We can’t bring back others’ loved ones. And it’s debatable how far we should go in deciding what is best for the people of other countries. Yet people-development circles often speak of the ‘circle of concern’ and the ‘circle of influence’, or in other words, “what’s worrying us” and “what we can actually do about it”. So what on earth should- and can we do?

Let’s merge two very different concepts.

What can we learn from what’s happening in the world? Japan is in pain and at the same time, the news is full of talk about what to do in Libya. One story that caught my attention was that many nations’ Air Forces have been active in the skies above Libya in recent days. During my time being taught to fly by Britain’s Royal Air Force, time after time, I was instructed to ‘look down the runway’. What my instructors meant by this was that with so many things to do, you’ll take off and land much more safely if you don’t look right in front of your aeroplane, but well ahead. If you’ve flown a plane before, forgive me for simplifying this. You’re sat in the cockpit. In front of you, there’s a long runway. You’re scared. There are lights everywhere. You’re nervous. But when air traffic control tells you that you may take off, you take off the brakes, open the throttle (turn the engine to full power), keep checking the temperatures and pressures inside your engine as you start to move, and at all times, you look toward the far end of the runway. Looking down the runway automatically helps you steer in a straight line. Then, when you’ve reached a high enough speed, you pull your stick back and take off. And just for a moment, you realise you are so, so vulnerable and exposed. Anything could go wrong. You might die. And all the time, by looking far ahead, your immediate actions stay aligned with what’s really important. In other words, you constantly balance what you’re doing with why you need to do it. If you thought about all the reasons not to try, you’d get out of the plane and hide in a cupboard. You’d achieve and change nothing. So what can we take from this into loving our loved ones? Reasons not to try are the circle of concern, and looking down the runway and doing what we can in each moment is our circle of influence. In terms of what each of us can bring to the world, where is the end of the runway?

If tomorrow were our last chance to give something to the world, what might we do?

Amid the shouting power of the world this last week, my ears have been opened to some new languages of giving – the languages of love. And they had some fascinating accents. In fact, there were 5 such accents.

On Saturday, we attended a course of a very special kind. It was a ‘Preparation For Marriage’ course organised by the church where my partner and I shall soon marry. As non-Churchgoers, we were nervous about this. Would it be preachy? Would it be about someone trying to get us to see things the way they see them? Trying to persuade us of the beliefs they are so persuaded by? If so, we feared the day might be a long one. But we couldn’t have been more wrong. Because far from it being about “do this, do that”, we were met with a day of passion hosted by a number of couples who have been married for years, who love each other dearly, and who have learned their very own lessons. They spoke about the languages of love. And amid this loveliest of preparations for the privilege of being husband and wife, it struck me that marriage is also a metaphor. Marriage is about the potential of relationships, and which little things we can do that will have a huge impact on how we nurture and nourish those around us. And with each marital lesson-learned, I found myself noticing that the world would love just that little bit more of what makes any marriage successful. So what were these accents?

Accent 1. “Communicate”

One couple after another was shown, with one partner next to the other talking about the impact on their relationship of how they both communicate differently. There were lots of laughs. But each couple had initially done each others’ heads in at times, because what they heard wasn’t quite what they themselves would say. So what was the conclusion?

We should always hear the ‘intention’ of what someone’s trying to say, not the ‘literals’ of what we quickly hear. So, what if we – all of us - each took a little more time for each other and made a point of truly connecting with the intentions behind what people are actually trying to say? What could that unlock in others?

Accent 2. “Resolve conflict”

We human beings are all so very different. We assume that others should be able to ‘get’ us. But they often don’t, even when they try, no matter how clever or sensitive. We human units often move in one gear and the others around us move in another gear. So where’s the clutch? What is that beautiful, virgin middle-ground where we’re both challenged, and we meet each other halfway? How does it make other people feel when they realise that they’re so important to us that we’ll walk into the unknown because of them? And what would motivate them to reciprocate?

Accent 3. “Meet each other’s emotional needs”

If our thinking and actions are so powerfully triggered by our reactions to what we witness, what can we do to not just respond like apes, but to transformationally speak the language of others’ needs? Just how much beautiful improvement can we unlock by simply understanding how others react quietly inside to the little things we do? To us, it’s a foreign language. To them, it’s the most obvious thing in the world. How much power of loving life can we unlock by showing patience and trust while everyone tries to understand each other?

Accent 4. “Build friendship”

If each person perceives ‘friendship’ very differently, how powerful is the potential of these differences? When we hear the word ‘build’, what could happen if we got rid of the limitations we impose on what we create? Is true friendship about what we want, about what others need, or actually, at source, about something we just can’t begin to describe? Language is just a really good tool we’ve created to meet many of the needs we’ve learned to articulate our experiences and responses. So how powerful could friendship be if we enjoyed its true beauty – and didn’t lock it down with words?

Accent 5. “Determine your roles”

What does the word ‘role’ mean? How ‘confirming’ is it? How flexible is it? What kind of ‘role’ should the word ‘role’ actually play? In those very precious last breaths of our beautiful lives, when we look back at everything we’ve done, what will make us smile? What’ll make us feel that we’ve brought something eternally good to the world? Which roles have you chosen so far, which have you played today, and which roles would you love to assume from tomorrow?

Some of us live in the moment. And some of us focus on the potential of future moments. And of course, some of us are too busy looking after allsorts – loved ones? Friends? Reputations, mortgages or just bank balances?  -  to even think about this stuff. So what are we actually, ultimately, at the end of the day, really about? Why bother? Why would those beautiful people of Japan and Libya want their dearly loved ones back? If we’re not about anything at all, why are we still here?  Should we stay? Yes we should. Our runways are long and sometimes full of curves. It’s often not easy to steer straight.  But look down our runways we should. Our lives aren’t permanent. So what would make us feel like we’ve made the world that teeny weeny – massive - bit better? Let’s forget the circle of concern for a moment. Let’s enjoy the power of our very own, very unique circles of influence. Whether you’re Japanese, Libyan, British, European or other… if today were your last day, what would you love the world to thank you for? 

Jonathan

Most irreverent symphonies

Church. Vicar. Reverend. Canon. Organ. Bells. Hymn. Donation. Sermon. Communion. Commandments. 

For you, which images do these words conjure up? Which of your memories and experiences are awakened? This weekend, my perception of all these things has changed tune. All because of the symphonies of a most irreverent Reverend. Let me explain. 

Two and a half years ago, I met a beautiful woman. Her name is Lisa. I very quickly fell in love with her and she with me. Each day, we love each other that little bit more and we love helping each other grow, learn, evolve and feel truly alive. It’s not an icky, sickly love. It’s healthy, true love. What she does for people in this world is life-changing, she’s true, and she has nil ego. She loves helping others enjoy the divine purity that is their own life. Just knowing her is a blessing. So imagine how it feels knowing that she cannot wait to marry me in a month’s time. I never dared dream that life could feel like this. I’ve never laughed as much as I do with her, I’ve never been challenged as much as I am with her, and each sound of her voice, each blink of hers, each glass of water she brings, each footstep is a gift of change to my life from  God. And both God and change are a bit of a theme at the moment. 

When Lisa and I first met, it quickly became clear that she likes to change her mind. Alot. All the time. About everything. Apparently, women changing their minds alot winds some men up. Not me. I love it. It’s who she is. And meeting her helped me realise it’s who I am too. When researching some well disguised parts of MI6’s secret history a few years ago, I quickly realised that that we human beings are the loveliest, funny bunch. Our reasons for thinking the things we think are often not quite as reasonable as we’ve reasoned. So while keeping balance, it’s good to be flexible and welcome powerful, irreverent change in the very moment it occurs. I’d always been a plan-man. But then I changed and loved the change that change can change. And then I met Lisa. And in the week following our first meeting, amid this beautiful change, Lisa told me that there were only two things she could never be flexible about. 1. She was a vegetarian and would never eat meat, and 2. She would never, ever, marry in a church. She went to a Catholic School as a child and it put her off religion. Since then, she’s never liked it when someone tells her “That’s just the way it has to be!”. I thought to myself at the time “If that’s what makes her happy, fine by me :-)”. 

Then things changed. The following week, she ordered a Club sandwich full of chicken and bacon. And on 9^th April, we marry in Cuckfield Holy Trinity Church. She’s changed her mind about not changing her mind. I love her. Problem is, I think she might sort of love the Vicar. Not in a weird way, but in a lovely way. Lisa can be quite irreverent. And this Vicar is the most irreverent Reverend you could meet. 

Our vicar is something else. As we one morning walked to the Vicar’s house to meet him for the first time, I quietly wondered what would happen if the vicar was “well, I’m sorry, that’s just the way things have to be”. I knew how Lisa would react. And I was a tad nervous. But when we got there, it took about 10 seconds before I realised Lisa and the vicar are a match made in heaven. 

When you look into the vicar’s eyes, you see a man who sees everything but comments on little. He’s constantly doing his very best not to smile about something he just thought about. He holds back the one-liners, funny stories and amusing gags he’s dying to share. He’s a truly lovely man. He used to be a professional musician and he has all the calmness of a man who has travelled the world. And he glows with the centredness of a life that’s been full of love. The face is still but there’s always something there under the surface just itching to make you giggle. But hold on to it he does. He is warmth itself and he lets YOU do the talking. And when Lisa asked whether we can write OUR OWN vows, he said “Officially, no.” before smiling, winking at us and saying “but unofficially, I’m sure we can sort something out!”. Lisa smiled and they both connected. And when we met with him again on Saturday to talk through our wedding ceremony, he couldn’t do more to bend the rules to create the right ceremony for us. But as we got to the end, I realised something had been missed out. So I asked: “At what point in the ceremony will you say ‘you may now kiss the bride’?”. And the broadest grin came over his face. “Jonathan, don’t jump the gun! This morning has been about me telling you exactly how the  ceremony will flow. But on the day, I’ll change it and it’ll be completely different! You won’t know what’s coming… Ha Ha Ha!!!”.  And as Lisa and our Vicar laughed furiously, so too did I, just with a taste of terror. We can’t wait. And I can’t sleep. 

But this is about the beautiful symphonies our vicar creates.   

He’s just rescued an Oboe. This oboe was given to him by his parents 44 years ago, and he recently found out that it was made in 1896. He’d never played it, but when it fell into disrepair, he decided he’d have it restored and then learn to play it and enjoy it, and enjoy the energy it was created for. And yesterday, he gave his first ever recital at our church. And I took a break from Genergy and wedding planning to go to the church and listen. 

The symphony was stunning. I don’t mean the music. When I arrived, he hadn’t started playing yet.  I’m not a church-goer, and I was stunned at how packed – rammed - this old church was. There were people of all ages and colours. They knew how important this recital was to the Vicar. This vicar is always there for others, but this day was different. This time, they were all there for him and he needed their love. And you could feel the passion in the room. Couples were smiling and laughing, holding hands. I even saw one old couple having a snog. Most irreverent. And as our normally-so-confident vicar took his place at the front, he was nervous. He said it’s the first time he’s stood terrified at the front of a church. But when he began to play, the energy of love in the church unfolded. It lasted an hour, and between pieces, he’d tell the story of the oboe, and talk of the parallels between the Oboe and the church. We were all entranced. 

And as the music continued and the symphony gently kissed the entire room, a wave of beautiful recognition flowed through me.  The people around me were squeezing each other’s hands as they listened. Faces touched each other. Smiles shone from faces young and old. And the symphony of the love I share with Lisa danced through me. It was the purest moment I can remember. I didn’t hear the music anymore. The symphonies I was listening to were those of the love that the people around me have for others. The love that people have for what’s important to them. The notes were not of Oboe, but of what- and who people truly bring to our world. It’s everywhere all the time, and yesterday, our vicar brought us together to help us all hear it. And as his recital reached its end. The most beautiful face looked up at our vicar from behind the piano. It was the vicar’s wife playing it. And in one smile, she sang him the note of love of a thousand first dates and an eternity of shared loving togetherness. 

This world, this orchestra we're all part of is the most glorious, divine symphony we could ever listen to. And we all play a part. That part can change. And so it should. It’s great to be irreverent. For irreverent releases love in new ways. But when we look around us, stop and listen for a moment to the flow of what these beautiful notes together create, we realise that the symphony of the world just wouldn’t be the same without us. Not the yesterday us, not the ‘normal’ us, but the loveliest ‘us’ we decide we’d like to be in each and every moment. 

Thank you Nick. Amen. 

Jonathan

Making the most of the In-between bit

I count myself as blessed that I am able to do something with my life that makes a real difference to people around me. I really love what I do and often find myself meeting and working with the most amazing people. However, sometimes I have an experience or work with a group that is such a privilege to be with that it moves me for weeks afterwards. On Monday and Tuesday last week I had one of those experiences and wanted to share it with you. It’s all about the power of teams and choice – what you do with ‘The In-between Bit’.

One of my truest passions in this work is working with teams. Something about the power and dynamic of a team holds the most massive potential for the people within it and for what they can achieve. I have seen time and time again, people move and shift more fundamentally and quickly as part of a team than they would necessarily on their own. The dynamic means that as one person grows, the constellation of the team changes and others are challenged out of their comfort zones too. If you can hold the magic and just allow what needs to happen to unfold with no judgement or pre-conceptions, you will be amazed at the result.

Last week's team are also truly graced because they have an amazing leader who is prepared to take risks and step out of his comfort zone and be vulnerable for the sake of the group. I facilitated the two days with another fantastic coach and with the leader of the team and it felt that, throughout the two days, the three of us were weaving together so naturally and beautifully and so in tune with the group that it would have been impossible to say who was doing what at any given time. This team leader created the possibility for change and a different way of operating and the team recognised this and, feeling safe, stepped inside. What is also remarkable is that this leader has created in his team something very different from the overall culture in the organisation. And word's getting around -people are starting to notice the change and that there is something different about his bunch of people. They are becoming catalysts who will fundamentally change the way people behave in the business – not by talking about it, but by having the courage to be and operate fundamentally differently. People often ask us how to create sustainable change – I would say that when people are connected in this way to a greater sense of purpose and to their own individual and group humanity, they don’t need processes or systems to keep them going, they are driven from within.

One of the most powerful parts of the day was when we asked each of the group to share 3 things that had defined them as a person, asking them to think about what would help their team mates understand them more. Wow. As each person shared their stories, you could see the layers that had built up through the years just fall away as they stood there - as the true power of who they are. And, as each person shared, the stories became deeper and more personal. Each person felt the permission to open up more and more and a new open space was created. Yas and I sat in awe as this all unfolded, I could feel the emotion rise up in me as people showed who they truly are at their core. How often can you say that you truly do this with people?

I could say so much about this amazing bunch of people. How open and trusting they were, how each and every one of them challenged themselves and stepped out of their comfort zones over the two days, how moved I was that a group of men (and one woman!) had the courage to be truly, powerfully, maturely emotionally open and what a true privilege it was to witness. However, it feels that some feedback from a member of this team captures it in a way that I couldn’t. We didn’t use standard feedback forms, we just asked the team to email us and write from the heart and core what they had experienced. Again, trusting that what was powerful would emerge. Here's what one male team member fed back to us... take a moment to enjoy its power:

“Everything has a life. All things are born and inevitably all things will die and a variety of things will happen In-between these two points.

 A Plant has a life – It is born from its seed. Its In-between bit is dependant on its surroundings, if it gets plenty of water and light it will grow strong and healthy and beautiful flowers will blossom before the plant dies. Without the light and water it may struggle to grow, live a short unhealthy life and never flower.

 A River has a life – It is born from a spring of water from a mountainside. Its In-between bit is dependant on the weather and terrain. If conditions are right it will grow into an immense river and carve through continents for centuries before finally drying up and dying. Other conditions may mean that it never becomes more than a trickle of water on the mountainside and dries up and dies quite quickly.

 A Star has a life – It is born through a coming together of gases and dust. Its In-between bit is dependant on the amount of Hydrogen it has in its mass. With plenty of Hydrogen It can shine and burn brightly for billions of years with less Hydrogen it may turn red and fade after millions.

 The In-between bit for almost everything that has a life is dependant on circumstances that the life is powerless to change.

The brilliant thing about people and the thing that separates our lives (or the life of the things we are involved in) from all others is that we have the ability to choose and decide what our In-between bit looks like. Obviously we are still influenced by outside factors; the weather, availability of food, the terrain we live on etc. but on the whole we decide which course our life will take and how we will respond to the circumstances that are presented to us.

 Our team has a life – AT SOME POINT IT WILL DIE! Lets not spend too much time being afraid of this or wondering when it’s going to happen, lets shine brightly, blossom fully and carve through continents, while we live lets be great. As a team we can choose to do exceptional things or mediocre things, it’s our choice.

 I think on Monday and Tuesday we set out our stall and made the choice as to how our team will live its life. We’re going to make things happen, embrace the challenges we face, improve ourselves with open feedback and while we’re at it we’re going to smile.

Of course we will have set backs and the terrain will be rocky at times, but I saw over the two days that as a team we’ll handle that and we’ll become even stronger because of it.

 Now all that remains is the easy bit, let’s live life to the full and together achieve our massive potential!!”

This powerful team has been truly transformed. But that's not really what this is about. My message this morning? Don’t wait for someone else to start a change. Trust that the conditions are all there and what we all decide on a daily and hourly basis is what to do with ‘the In-between bit’. You always have a choice to be the catalyst and to start the magic of change, not by speaking but by who you are and what you do. 

Lisa 

Seeing The Horse

When you look at people, do you see a frog, a prince or a horse?  It’s not a question I’ve heard before. It’s not one I ever imagined hearing myself ask. And it sounds strange at first. But at about 14:17 yesterday afternoon, I heard the question for the very first time. Yesterday, we spent another day working with the apprentices at Jamie Oliver’s ‘Fifteen’. And it was one of the most eye- and mind-opening experiences I’ve had in years. We’re buzzing from it. And I’m seeing horses everywhere. Want to hear about it?

Allow me first to state that I am not taking drugs. Nor am I suffering from any kind of psychosis. I checked this morning, and the mushrooms we’ve been eating recently are all of the normal kind. And the gas taps on our oven are most definitely pointing to ‘off’. So please trust me… this is real.

We work with lots of businesses, of all different kinds. And Lisa and Tash - who I was with yesterday - have worked in advanced leadership development with managers and teams for years. But just recently over the last few months, there’s been a special energy about both ladies. I don’t mean the beautiful, unique aura that they always seem to have, I mean something even more glowing. And it’s been something I’ve felt every single day, but which I’ve only been feeling from the edge. I’ve been looking in on it and listening to-, but not quite feeling what they’re doing. They’ve been radiating something very private.  Almost cult-like, you could say. They’ve had something in their eyes. Their voices have been a bit different. They’ve been creating something very special. And I realised yesterday that the team at Jamie Oliver’s Fifteen have been contributing to this. We’ve written about our day picking wild mushrooms with them before. But that was back in October. Yesterday I realised just how much – I mean… good grief... how quickly these amazing apprentices have made progress transforming how they operate.

We’d had fun preparing for yesterday. Lisa and Tash had done great work developing a day that would move at pace to unleash deep change. The day was about perspectives, choice, moment, alarms and triggers. Now we’ve all had thoughts on assumptions, mindsets, perspectives and self-management. Many people have also received training and development on these things. Rightly so. But the pure, true power of yesterday was how to handle this instinctively – in the moment. It’s important to explain why this was key.

The apprentices at ‘Fifteen’ aren’t executives. They don’t have offices or big, comfy chairs. And their work doesn’t include the kinds of meetings we’ve all attended in the corporate world. You know, the ones where you have time to think while others speak, when you have time to think about perspectives and time to contemplate the impact on others of what you’ll say next. The world of these apprentices is raw. It’s real-time. It’s in the moment. They’re learning to become world-class chefs. And that means a truly vertical learning curve. It’s tough there. They have to make progress ultra-fast.  They can’t serve the kind of fayre we’d get in just any old ‘good’ restaurant and then sit down and patiently discuss ‘how things went’. They have to quickly create the exceptional.  And they didn’t get there because of the school daddy paid for, nor because of mummy’s network of friends. In fact it’s the opposite. Their road to this apprenticeship has often been a tough one, full of bumps, potholes and crevasses. And often, it’s been a road they’ve had to walk alone. But walked it they have. And as a result, they are divinely honest, unpretentious, real and ready to challenge anything that comes their way. And they’re also ready for anything that will help them grow fast. 

So we were excited about what we had lined up for yesterday. But the beauty was that we let the energy of the room – of the apprentices – take the day where it truly needed to go. What made the day so powerful was how fantastically the apprentices embraced ‘the moment’. In other words, how to spot, choose and change assumptions and resultant perspectives – not philosophically or retrospectively – but in that hundredth of a second that is the very moment that they occur. And as we did this with them, they were alive. We talked about challenging moments, challenging relationships and the energy these create. And then came the energy.

From different parts of the room came a shower of pure, honest insight. Some had friends they really care about who are having it tough, and they realised they could handle moments with these friends in powerful new ways. Some admitted patterns of behaviour they recognised and have already started to fundamentally change and saw for the first time how to operate differently in each of their moments. And some talked about the very real challenges they constantly face with each other. And as each of them spoke, they weren’t telling stories about the past, they were speaking in the moment, using the language of ‘now’.  They felt the energy that ‘now’ creates, they discussed how to best use it, and they commented on the energy of the potential of each choice they make in the moment. When I was their age, I didn’t speak like this. Nor did the brightest of the people I’ve worked with in the past.

To be honest, we thought a slide we had would be really useful. But they took it further. Our slide had a frog and a prince on it. We wanted to use it to show how each moment of a person’s existence carried the energy of choice. We wanted them to know that each and every moment, reaction, thought, assumption and perspective was one they could choose and have control over by using its energy differently. And they got it fast. So fast, that I grinned from ear to ear when I heard what came next.

“I see a horse. The prince is sitting on a horse. A brown horse. What should I do if a person or a situation or moment I’m in turns out to be a horse, when I’m actually just trying to work out it whether it’s a frog or a prince?”. He wasn’t being clever or sarcastic, he meant it and his question was a great one. None of the questions we heard yesterday were academic or cerebral. They came from the real-time awareness of what energy does to people.

Have a think about the following other questions we heard the group ask each other yesterday. These questions were created not by cleverness or philosophy, but by real-time response to the life-changing energy created by the moments that Fifteen’s apprentices bring.

1. What is the best perspective to choose about how others change their perspectives?
2. When energy is telling me to look after myself but my heart wants to look after someone else, how do I choose?
3. When I choose a new perspective in the moment, how will others know I’m doing it for the right reason – do I have to explain what energy is?

Then a question came that made me wobble. It still does. It came from a serious male face that wasn’t looking for a cheap laugh. He was connected and speaking from a deep, centred part of himself. He meant it:

“Now that we’re all doing this, does that make us Genergy-efficient?”

These questions came out raw. These apprentices truly get it. They’re beginning to operate supremely differently. And because of yesterday, I’m more on fire and inspired than i've felt in years.

And I’m going to leave it there. While you’re looking for the horses in the energy of your own moments, enjoy every hundredth of each second.

Jonathan

How do you say ‘Just what they deserve!’?

If you could do just one powerful thing for everyone around you, what would it be? We’ve been thinking about this a lot just recently, what with wedding planning, busy programmes and by way of thanking the people in our village for the incredible warmth and friendliness they’ve shown us since we moved here earlier this year. But bigger than that… something has really changed out there. Lots of others are pulling out all the stops to do something life-changing for others too. And this last week, 2 people have impressed the heck out of me. In fact, this last week, I’ve been rendered – very unlike me - completely speechless.

We’ve written about 2011 before. Following the demands inside businesses of the last couple of years, we at Genergy have for some time been sensing something coming. Something energetically extremely powerful. We’ve felt it every day for a while – like a calm before the loveliest storm. And now it’s happening.

A very wise senior European spy once told me that the more words we use to articulate something, the easier it is to actually say it in just one sentence. And he was right.

Last week, the snow in England brought havoc to many people’s week. We had lots of discussions and meetings lined up, but like many, we had to reschedule.  Staying at home in the snow with our snow-mad puppy was just the bliss we needed. But while re-arranging the meetings, some very special energy showed its colours… The energy of honest truthfulness.

One of the meetings we had lined up was one I’ve been looking forward to for quite a while. The manager at that business had been looking forward to it to. So with him stuck at home, and me with a puppy sitting on my feet, we decided to talk things through on the phone and see where this took us. His business – a well-known, large one -  has been doing some great work with their managers and teams. During a tough period, they’ve been doing everything they can to keep their people connected with the energy and essence of what their business is trying to achieve. It sounds like they’ve done a great job, but people are tiring and are ready for the Christmas break. “Of course, this is about improving performance and leadership. But it’s more than that. Developing our people isn’t a one-sided relationship. We’re only going to get the best out of people if we recognise who they are in some powerful way. We don’t want to behave like just another Corporate. What we need to do for our people in 2011” said the man “is make 2011 a year unlike any they’ve had before. It’s got to be powerful, different, real, sustainable, unlike the 2011 they’d have at Whatever Plc, and one which makes our people feel like they truly belong to- and are a core part of what we’re about. It’s got to leave people stunned by themselves. We want them to really get something from this connection with us. And it’s got to be different. We just don’t know how to make it happen.”

As we spoke, the man I was talking with was doing everything he could to articulate what it was he was trying to achieve. We must have talked for almost an hour. Don’t get me wrong, this gent is as sharp as a dye, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. And as we laughed about this, it became easier. We looked back through the training, courses and programmes they’d all been doing and they sounded really good, but something was just… well… missing. There wasn’t any recognition of the pure truth of who his people really are.

So I asked him “If your wife kissed you and asked you why you’re even bothering with all this, what would you say to her?”

Then it came.  “I want to change people’s lives…I’m looking to give our people just what they deserve.” And then we went silent. He had it.

We meet in January. Just how much do you think we’re looking forward to this? If you work for this company, your 2011 will be a cracker.

At the end of last week, we met someone else. An even bigger company this time. We made it despite the snow, and the mince pie waiting for us when we got there was more than worth the effort.

The company in question has an inspirational approach to developing people. They seriously do. Far from just training or coaching, they enjoy taking things further. In our first ever conversation, the man told me “We need our people to perform exceptionally, so we’re exceptional back. We want a happy marriage.”.

When we sat down, we listened. And for an hour, this man explained everything about their business, their ethos, their lessons-learned over the years, their assumptions, their beliefs and what has typified their highest achieving teams and managers. The man was honest, balanced, equally as transformational a listener as a speaker, and you could feel that he meant what he said about his people.  For me, he was an ambassador for the pureness of their performance. We love working with people who mean what they say.

And as this man showed us what had driven their decision-making for people development in recent years, you could feel that something didn’t quite fit. Not quite. Proud as the man was, something was itching. And he tried his best to use words to scratch it. We laughed, he drew diagrams, we used examples and we spoke in abstracts, but the man – abnormally articulate – had that look on his face that said “I just don’t know how to say this”.

So we asked him “When you look right to the core, the heart, the absolute purist reason for why you’re doing what you’re doing, what is it that’s driving you to do your very best in this moment for your people?”

He thought for a few seconds then opened up. “Honest?  The last few years have been a shit time. Our people have really been up against it. Some of their colleagues have been made redundant. They’re jiggered. But it’s not just about re-engaging them to get performance to a new place. It runs deeper. It’s who people are that makes this place what it is, not just what they can do. And I can’t believe it’s taken us so long to realise this. But it’s more than that even. It’s like something big has changed. We’ve seen new sides of people recently and it’s opened our eyes. People have been holding their true selves back. And we see this. We’ve started recognising our people for the first time. We see them. The real them. And they’re the purest asset we could ever hope for. It’s sort of time to recognise that…

“But how the hell can we do it?” As we smiled and sat back, he looked around the floor. As we were about to present Genergy's thoughts, something murmured inside the man.

He finally realised what he’d been trying to say. “It’s just what our people deserve.”. 

Businesses can’t donate all their money to good causes – they have salaries to pay. And they can’t turn into charities overnight. And swathes of businesses will continue to struggle before they learn the true, purist language of their people. Some businesses will continue to incentivise people with money alone. Fine, until, that is, their competitors nearby offer more money. But change is happening. Influential people on the ground in good businesses are connecting to the true difference they can really make. They want things to be different. They’re smelling the reality that is the exceptional energy of who their people really are. Beautifully, the already fantastic people working for these businesses at the end of 2010 have no idea what’s coming in 2011. They won’t believe it when it arrives. It’s powerful, true recognition of the cleanest, realest energy of who these exceptional people are. Lives are about to change. And all because their colleagues want to do something powerful for them. The reason? Because they just deserve it.

Jonathan 

 

The Power And Magic Of Breaking Boxes

When’s the last time you suddenly found yourself in a box? And if you woke up in one tomorrow, what would you do? This last week Natasha and I had the privilege of running a very special workshop with the Apprentices from Jamie Oliver’s Fifteen restaurant. And what happened there is still leaving us buzzing.

We’ve worked with Fifteen for a number of years but always with the management team. This was the first time we’d worked with the apprentices directly. We had met the guys on a mushroom foraging trip in October so we had a sense of where they were and what we might be able to help them with. Working with a new group is always a bit of a step into the loveliest unknown, but this step was more like a leap.

Tash and I mulled over what might be really powerful for the apprentices and what we decided to do was to work with a profiling system called Insights Discovery. Insights is a really fantastic way of triggering self awareness. Essentially, it all starts with each person receives an individual profile which tells you all about your strengths and potential weaknesses and how you like to work etc. What happens next is powerful stuff. It’s all based around 4 colour energies with the belief that we are all different combinations of those colours and have preferences for up to 3 of them. It’s lovely, creative and visual and we find it a great way to open people up to a greater sense of themselves and others. We use it a lot with corporate clients and it works extremely well. However, what was interesting was that it created a powerfully different energy with this group of young people...

We are working with the Apprentices over 3 sessions in November, December and January so we have the chance to build on their learning and really embed what we do. The first session was really to introduce them to the concept of Insights and play around with it so that they have the background and understand what it is all about when they do their profiles. So, we planned our day and how it would work, keeping it all high energy and fun. So far, so good. And, we always hold that we need to do what is right in the moment, so our fantastic ‘plan’ often goes out of the window as we react to what is really needed and what is being created in that unique moment of time.

All began really well and we got into an exercise where we asked them to stand in the colour energy which they felt was their strongest and to plan next year’s graduation ceremony. The idea is that the groups display their colour preferences in a fun way and we get to talk about the ‘good day’ and ‘bad day’ versions of the colours. I’ve run this kind of exercise many times and people generally accept it for what it is. Of course, we are exaggerating to make the point of the differences in the colours and we keep emphasizing that we are a mix of all four colour energies. However, with this group something very interesting happened.

More than with any other group I have worked with, this particular exercise stirred up some really strong emotions and feelings, and we truly pushed some buttons for some of the people there. A couple of the group were really quite angry about feeling like we were forcing them to stand ‘in a box’ as they perceived it. As Tash and I reflected on it over lunch, we realised that this anger energy - the strength of feeling - was about feeling like they were being put in a box and being judged by others for it. And we also realised that these guys had probably been put ‘in a box’ many times in their lives with people judging them on the basis of their backgrounds, their attitudes, their lack of traditional achievement amongst many other things. What was amazing to witness was the absolute honesty, integrity and utter rawness of their reactions. No playing nice or politely-politics, just an openness and honesty of reaction. How often do we work in businesses and see people playing at being ‘good delegates’ and not really stepping out of their comfort zones? With these guys, you got it all, warts and all, and it was fantastic!

As we tuned into it over lunch we really felt the energy of what we had created with the group, the power of it and the sense of what needed to happen in the afternoon. So, out went the plan! And, instead, we acknowledged with the group that we had pressed some buttons, and so we worked with the energy of what these buttons, boxes and apprentices had unleashed. As we got the group on their feet, all standing in each of the colour energies and connected to the power of each of those energies for each of them on their journey with Fifteen, something purely remarkable happened. Without any guidance from us, they jumped from judgement and attack of others to feeling the true positive power of each of the colours. And, as they experienced each one for themselves, they let go of the judgement of others. It was a rare, beautiful moment to witness and we felt the group lap up the real energy of what they had created. Out of that initial conflict came a real sense of sharing and acknowledgement of the group and of themselves being witnessed as part of it.

As Tash and I went home that evening, we felt truly privileged and touched to be able to work in this way with these guys. And, it also made me reflect on how sometimes we do put people in boxes, often unconsciously. And because of social niceties, sometimes people don’t tell us we’re doing it, they stay in that box and we miss the opportunity of creating something life-changing, deep and wonderful with them.

For me, as I sit writing this today, I am struck by how much we at Genergy learn and are challenged by the work we do. We are supposed to be the ‘teachers’ and yet, last week, I felt like we were the ones being taught and changed by the experience. The more we step beyond our boxes, the more there is to discovery. May your week be full of discovery and challenge and watch out for those pesky boxes – especially those hiding inside habit and assumptions!

Have fun getting out and ripping them to pieces! 

Lisa X

Fifteen Tomorrow Mushrooms

Are you a yesterday-, today- or tomorrow person? A very bright person I know recently explained what this means. Apparently, some people define themselves by what they’ve already done in life; others think about what they’re doing today, whereas the rest of us apparently define ourselves by what we can do tomorrow. And when I listened to this, it really set me thinking. So last week, when we had an incredible day with Jamie Oliver’s Fifteen apprentices, an incredible realisation hit me. The answer came via fifteen mushrooms.

We’ve worked with Jamie Oliver’s ‘Fifteen’ for years. We’ve been working with their senior management team for some time. And last week, we were invited to spend the day doing something very special with the young apprentices determined to follow Jamie Oliver’s example. We’d be helping them pick the best mushrooms and learn how to make legendary Risotto in the wild. After all the work we’ve done with their business in the past, what kind of ‘today’ would this be?

It was an incredibly powerful day. As it happens, it was my partner Lisa’s birthday. Now normally, Lisa’s birthday is sacrosanct – nothing gets done. We’d normally indulge her and she – rare for her – would have her needs put first. But this birthday was different. She adores the transformation that Fifteen brings to young lives and so when she was invited to join the group, we didn’t hesitate – this would be a birthday to remember. And as we rose early and drove to the venue, you could hear her smiling inside.

What we found when we got there raised our eyebrows. It was an army base. And as we awaited the coach containing the apprentices, the soldiers invited us in, made us coffee and had some real laughs with us. And when the Warrant Officer running things found out it was Lisa’s birthday, he smiled and said “well, young lady, you deserve something special!”. They’d just received some huge trucks back from Afghanistan and made some repairs, and he asked Lisa to help him test one of the vehicles. He grabbed the keys, helped her aboard and they then drove this bullet-proof, bomb-proof monster of a machine off into the forest. 20 minutes later, they were back, with Lisa beaming a cosmic grin from ear to ear. And as she climbed down and thanked this great guy, she hugged me and said ‘wow, I wasn’t expecting that today!!’.

Moments later, the apprentices’ coach arrived. I hadn’t known what to expect so just decided to go with the flow. What took me aback was the fact that all of these young people came over and introduced themselves. Many still in their teens, they were already true gentlemen and ladies. I was humbled. This was all the more powerful because many of these young people have had the kind of tough start in life which most of us can only read about. And their day had started early, and they were a little tired, so their behaviour impressed me all the more. Their friendliness wasn’t just polite. They meant it. I was immediately inspired to enjoy each moment with them. But another surprise was coming.

One of Jamie Oliver’s oldest friends is Gennaro Contaldo. Gennaro is a world expert on how to cook wild mushrooms. His book - ‘Passione’  - about foraged wild food won him the 'Gourmand World Cookbook - Best Italian Cuisine Book' for 2003. And 2 years later, his restaurant of the same name won him the award 'Best Italian Restaurant 2005'. But last week, he showed us that he is simply Gennaro. He smiled the biggest smile, shook my- and Lisa’s hands and begged us, “please, just call me Sasha”. And because he was natural, warm, unpretentious and so very real, all the apprentices listened with passion when he spoke. This man was one of the most impressive people I’ve ever had the privilege of being near. And when he spoke, the apprentices were inspired. So was I.

As we walked around this very strange army base, Gennaro pointed out what each and every mushroom was called. I stopped counting when he’d recited about 150 different mushroom names in latin. He knew them all. And as the many apprentices clamoured to listen to him, they had fun. As he pointed out the strengths and weaknesses of each mushroom they found, they smiled, listened, had fun and tried to impress him by finding even more new kinds of mushroom. And with each mushroom they found, he’d smile, explain how best to cook it, share a joke and ignite these young people. They couldn’t get enough out of the day. And as we all wandered through the forest, unearthing mushrooms, the energy of life in these youngsters warmed the whole forest. And it’s important to understand the miracle that this is.

I talked with so many of them that day. Time after time, they helped me understand what life had been like for them when younger. Many had spent years in care. They hadn’t had the childhood most of us take for granted. They hadn’t had the parents, puppies and bicycles most of us remember. But every one of these young people humbled me for a different reason. They weren’t stuck to yesterday. They weren’t swamped in sorrow, self-absorbed or damaged. Sure, they spoke differently, of course they behaved a little differently, but they weren’t allowing themselves to be held back anymore. They just knew that their past was yesterday. And they wanted to work hard to achieve a fantastic future – one they could previously never have dreamed of. And to achieve the tomorrow that Jamie Oliver’s Fifteen has given them the chance to create, they were determined to absorb everything, and to truly enjoy today. They were living and learning that bit bigger in each moment.

Gennaro was then going to show them how to cook the world’s best Risotto here in the forest. And they were excited. We all were. But before doing so, he shared a powerful lesson with them. “I know you all have so much work to do at Fifteen. And I know just how many assignments you have to complete in order to learn. And some of you have today told me that you’ve been worried about all the things you have to complete. But what have you all been thinking about today?” They all shouted “Mushrooms!”. And then he explained that mushrooms are the greatest way of switching off from the stresses of the world. When life gets tough, he urged, go and hunt for the mushrooms in your life. It makes life better. The silence was incredible. They’d heard him. They’d learned.

The Risotto that followed was sublime. The fun that accompanied it, the bonding between them - it all built in each moment. The energy of the day was a privilege to be part of. And when finished, we thanked the army officers who’d made this possible. And we thanked Gennaro – Sasha – for this most special day. Then one after the other, the apprentices came and thanked us for being with them and then boarded the coach to go home. That today was an incredible privilege I’ll never forget.

But Gennaro’s words weren’t the only lesson that stuck with me. True, the young apprentices are all learning to become world-class chefs of tomorrow, so cooking the world’s best Risotto with the finest mushrooms is important. But that ‘today’ was more than that. Each mushroom had been a different colour, a different size, it had a unique colour, a particular smell, different mushrooms were found next to different kinds of tree and each one needed to be cooked slightly differently. But when properly cared for, each mushroom brought something fantastic to the dish. It struck me that these Fifteen apprentices – like everyone else in our world – are mushrooms. We all sit waiting to be unearthed. Each of us has a different name, we’re all unique, we all have something special to offer and when we take the time to look, smell, truly hold and taste what those around us bring to our world, our todays are incredible. And the better each today becomes, the more ignited we feel to create an even more memorable tomorrow.

There’s nothing wrong with yesterday. Life brings us plenty of yesterdays. And it seems incredible just how powerfully yesterday can drive our todays.  But in spending time with young people determined to turn the energy of their unhappy yesterdays into the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that is each tomorrow, it seems that each today I will be gifted is one I simply cannot wait to enjoy. And I’ll feel the same way tomorrow.

Jonathan

(Now come and plant something uniquely special on our leadership community!)

Moments of you

What's it like being you? What difference does it make when you're so busy enjoying your 'you' moments that you actually stop thinking? And just how much more do you achieve when you put in less effort and just enjoy each moment?

Following Lisa’s blog last week about what's waiting for us when we apply ourselves and just go for it, I’ve been wondering what we can also achieve when we don't think – when things just flow and we’re simply ourselves ‘in the moment’. Until 2 years ago, I thought life was about focus, concentration, tackling impossible things, thinking and applying ourselves beyond comfort. True, this can help us achieve many things, see a bit of the world and experience new things. But this year, I've achieved so much more by simply letting go. By just letting things flow naturally for the first time, I’ve realised how much more we achieve - and how much more alive this makes us feel - when we simply dial down the ‘effort’. Ever done it? BE WARNED! It changes life for good.This last week, two fantastic things have shown me just what can happen when you enjoy your very own pure ‘You’ moments.

The first of these was last Friday. There’s a company we love. It’s a really successful, well-known company that has bucked the trend in the recession and has kept growing. It’s an exceptional, upper-market fashion retail business that has a very special feel whenever you walk into one of their shops. The feel is so special that over the last two years, I’ve loved buying things for my partner there. It just has that special feel and energy about it that you don’t experience very often. There's no snobbery about them. They're just naturally themselves.

So earlier this year, I wondered what the energy inside their business is like. And I wondered what it would be like if our company – Genergy – worked with them. If it didn’t feel right, no problem, but what if their business felt really good to work with? What I didn’t know was how to create a connection with that business and how to make contact without them thinking I was selling something.  So one day, I decided to call them. And I did so from a completely new, different space.

In the past, I'd have had no problem contacting a business. I'd have thought things through, worked out what I wanted to achieve and called them with a plan. But with this business, that just didn't feel right. Just what should you say when you want to talk to someone - who doesn’t know you - about the energy of the people in their business? And how do you do it without people wrongly assuming you’re trying to sell something? All I wanted to do was sense the company’s energy and see what they thought of our energy too. I wasn’t selling, I just wanted to have an ‘energy sniff’. Would they welcome this? Or, would they just think me a bit mad? In fact, why was I doing this? I didn't know. Something just felt right.

So how should I contact this business? The more you thought about it, the more reasons there were not to bother trying with this very special business I had in mind. We've been in contact with many businesses this year and things have gone fantastically. But this felt different, and I couldn't work out what it was.

And that was the key. Don’t think. Just do. And be. I’ve always enjoyed thinking. But perhaps it was time to grow up. So this one day earlier this year, I just called them without thinking. I wondered where the conversation would take us. I had no plan, no design, no idea what I was going to say and no expectation from any conversation. If there was no connection, then fine, I was purely curious about them. But as it happens, the person I was looking for simply wasn’t there, so I left a message on her voicemail. And I heard nothing.

The thing is, I’d just had some lunch, a long walk and a lovely coffee. Two coffees in fact. I was so incredibly relaxed that I still have no idea what I said in that message. I'd just wondered how the person’s day was going, I summarised why I was calling, then I wished her a lovely afternoon in the sun and a happy evening.  Beeeeep.

One week later, I decided to call her one last time. And if she wasn’t there, perhaps it wasn’t meant to be. No problem. No stress. Doo be doo. Even then, everything seemed to be flowing naturally and simply. And I was happy. As I dialled, I had no attachment to any desired outcome and readied myself to leave one final message. But she was there and she picked up.

I still don’t know what happened next. But what she said next was lovely. “Jonathan, you’re actually on my list for today.” When I asked “Why?”, she said that the message from me she had picked up the previous week was lovely, natural and honest. I laughed and explained that I was just having a ‘me moment’ when I’d called. We laughed more and something was happening. Something new and healthy. And as the various words came out of my mouth without me knowing what they were, we talked and connected in a very natural, honest way. And our shared energy ignited something. We weren’t wasting time 'chatting', we were just talking about important leadership things, but in the way you chat with someone you trust and really enjoy being with. Something about the energy of this showed us both that the energy she wanted inside her business was very similar to the energy we already had in our business.

I hadn’t said anything clever. I hadn’t thought anything through. No plan. No agenda. I was just me in each moment. And so was she. As a result, something clicked and we trusted each other.

We organised a meeting for a few weeks later and something was growing. The connection that was forming between what we do and what they do seemed to be creating something powerful. And the natural honesty that was exchanged between us was divine. And last week, we met with them again. There’s now an excitingly strong possibility that we’ll be working together very soon – to help transform the leadership energy inside some of their management teams. She and we have aligned behind what's important - the potent reality of how much more people can achieve in each moment by simply being their true, full selves. At the end of last week's meeting, we asked the lady what it is that’s making the difference for her. Then she said it. “You’re just real. When I get back to my desk and pick up voicemails, there’s one person after another trying to sell me something. But when I hear your messages, they make me laugh and smile. You share the moments of energy of your day with me. And as a result, your messages are always different and they just bring brightness to my day.” The fact is, I’m not doing anything special or weird. I’m not thinking, planning or designing conversation. I suppose I’m just enjoying my day. I feel their company's energy and she feels ours. This seems to simply bring ‘me’ moments into her day. She likes the naturalness of this. Blimey. Life can be so, so simple.

And on Saturday, something else went ‘wow!’. We had friends round to celebrate my partner’s birthday. And these friends are the new people we’ve met since moving to our village earlier this year. We’ve been amazed at how friendly people have been since we got here, and we wanted to say thank you to the loving welcome people have brought to our life here.

One of these friends is a deaf lady. She’s simply amazing. She communicates with pure honesty and connects with people in a completely different way. This blog has written about her and her husband before. While talking to her, we mentioned how happy we were that so many people have been so incredibly friendly to us. Then she said it. “You know why that is, don't you? The reason people here have warmed to you is because you just seem to enjoy each moment and you enjoy the good in everything and everyone around you.  How do you do that? And when you're with people, you truly see them, you don't just look at them” We were taken aback.

She continued. “When I try to talk, people don't speak 'sign' and they don’t understand. They get embarrassed. But you two don’t. You take the time to listen with your eyes and you don’t waste any of your moments. You also take the time to communicate with your face, not just with voice-noises. It’s like you want to get the most out of every moment with me. And the energy this creates draws people to you both. It's simply who you are. I’m so glad I met you. I think lots of others are too.”  This makes me tingle each time I remember it. For me, these are the moments of gold in life.

Ever feel you've been doing things the wrong way round? It seems like ‘education’ can help us become clever. And experiences tend to make us more savvy. The right upbringing can open doors for us, and managed-thinking can influence outcomes. Some people devote their whole lives to improvement in some of these areas. But the most powerful things appear to happen when we stop trying, let ourselves 'be' and let life 'be'. So often, the biggest moments seem to occur when we’re too busy simply enjoying being ‘us’ to think. It seems that when we relax and enjoy the energy of each moment, things around us change. And the people around us respond to us differently.  And we achieve much more with less effort. And when we enjoy each moment, others start doing it to. This creates something so special, something shared and natural. It's luxury living. How strange that it can take us many years before we realise our 'us' moments make the biggest things happen. So here are three questions. What would you really love to see happen in your life? How prepared are you to let go, creating the space for this to happen naturally? And how many ‘you’ moments would you absolutely love to enjoy from now on?

:-)

Jonathan